The Undoubted Usefulness of the Travellers' Tips

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n All this recent talk ofntravelling has made me think of some of the advice given to travellers in thenpast, advice which is very much a curate’s egg of a thing – some parts of itnare quite good, other parts of it not so.

True Humility – The Curate’s Egg

nWhen dealing with Johnny Foreigner,nthe English approach to languages must be followed at all times. In Chamber’s Tourist’snPocket-Book, (1904) we are told,

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n“Think before you speak! Speaknslowly! Do not attempt to form sentences unless you know something of thengrammar of the language, but say boldly the one or two words which will give anclue to your meaning.”

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G F Chambers – The Tourist’s Pocket-Book – 1904

nSo, there you have it. Do not attempt to use sentences.nSlowly and preferably using sufficient pointing, shout at thenforeigner. One or two words should do it. There follows a helpful glossary ofnwords and terms that can be shouted at foreigners, in French, German, Italian,nSpanish and Portuguese, Swedish, Dutch, Russian, Turkish and Arabic, includingnsuch handy phrases as:

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nThis coachman is drunk.

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nHere is an English sovereign;ngive me change.

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nDiarrhoea Mixture.

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nI do not understand you.

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nSay only ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.

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nI feel inclined to be sick.

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nHas the laundress brought mynlinen?

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nUse plenty of starch.

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nAnd don’t go eating that foreignnslop. Cook your own. When travelling by train, remember,

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n“Ham-and-chicken sausagesnpurchased at good shops in London are most useful articles of food for eatingnon a railway journey. They will generally keep good for nearly a fortnightnexcept in very hot weather.”

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n“What to do when a Dress catches Fire: – A woman shouldnimmediately lie down on the floor, or if she has not done so, any one who goesnto assist her should instantly make her lie down; or, if needful, throw herndown into a horizontal position, and keep her in it.”

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Cleanliness and Civility A Speciality

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n“Much of the laxity of tone now prevalent in the upperncircles of English society as respects Religion and Morals, is directlyntraceable to Continental (especially French) influences; and the less thencontact in future years the better for Religion and Morals on this side of thenChannel.”

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Biarritz Bathers

nIt is obvious from thisnillustration from William Miller’s Wintering in the Riviera (1879) justnhow bad this laxity of tone was in France at the time. Just look at all that palpablenlaxity. Disgusting. And it’s not just the French, for Miller recounts,

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n“ …nthe painful habit which the generality of Germans have — occasionally ladies asnwell as men—of eating with their knives. English people cannot witness thisnfearful and wonderful operation without a nervous dread of the result.”

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nBlasted Huns! Consider thisnappalling exchange, again from Miller,

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n“I was at one place agreeablynset on several occasions beside a lively young German lady, who spoke Englishnfluently. At our first interview I asked, ‘What was their national dish? Was itnSauer-kraut?’ ‘No, it was larks.’ ‘Oh, you barbarians,’ I replied; ‘ do you eatncanaries and parrots?’ At which the fair damsel was much shocked.”

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Pig-Sticking in Africa

nFor those intending to venturenfurther afield, let’s start with a book by Bertram Francis Gurdon, 2^ndnBaron Cranworth – A Colony in the Making: or, Sport and Profit in BritishnEast Africa (1912). He begins with some helpful information for thenprospective colonist new to Africa – for example, what might be expected innterms of temperature, rainfall, humidity and so on. Then, he turns to mattersnof health,

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n“The principal diseases of the country are: Malaria, dysentery,ntyphoid, sunstroke, lion bites, and whisky.”

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nThankfully, we are told, thenlatter two may be avoided by judicious vigilance, and the rest by due care andnattention paid to details of diet, hygiene and standing water. He draws someninteresting parallels, comparing the case of a new arrival from England innAfrica with the unlikeliness of an African attempting to live his ‘traditional’ life in thenbalmiest of British summers. He recommends the care and attention provided atnthe European Hospital in Nairobi, and adds a few more suggestions, which arenworth quoting: –

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n“Take plenty of wine afternsunfall, more especially burgundy and port. They enrich the blood and arenagreeable to the palate.”

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n“Don’t go about with fever onnyou. Go to bed.”

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n“Bear in mind and act on thenold maxim: Keep the spirits up, the bowels open, and wear flannel next thenskin.”

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nThis is how an Empire was built – with a stiff upper lip,nby keeping yourself ‘regular’ and by always wearing clean, sensible undergarments.nAnd, when the sun is well and truly over the yardarm, get smashed.

The Raw Material and The Made Article

nThe writer of “Wrinkles”nOr Hints To Sportsmen And Travellers, (1874) The ‘Old Shekarry’ agreesnwholeheartedly with Lord Bertram,

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n“All experienced travellersnseem to agree in one point, viz., the importance of wearing flannel next thenskin.”

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nBut he doesn’t stop there, for henturns his attention to hosiery, observing that,

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n“…it is a great nuisance tonhave to stop every few minutes, to pull up your socks.”

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nThe ‘Old Shekarry’ was Henry Astbury Leveson, a big gamenhunter who, alarmingly, advises against trouserings,

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n“In Equatorial Africa, during the intense heat of thenday, I generally wore a kilt and flannel shirt, boots and gaiters, which dressnI found cooler and less liable to gall than trousers.”

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nIn matters sartorial, The ‘OldnShekarry’ also favours the ‘Cloak’, an item he has had made up by hisntailor, Mr Cording of 231, The Strand, London. It serves as a poncho, groundsheet,ntent, blanket or, should the need arise, an improvised boat.

The Cloak

nAs you can seenfrom the illustration, it is also very fetching and quite the companion to yournkilt. This ‘Old Shekarry’ (a Shekarry,nor Shikari, in case you are wondering, is an Indian word for a huntsman), alsonrecommends Chinese Silk pyjamas when out on safari – I am beginning to thinknthat his use of the phrase ‘camp-life’ does not quite correspond with mynunderstanding of that term.

A boat made from The Cloak

nOur author is also the fan of a ‘good breakfast’nwith which to start the day. If eggs and milk are available, he suggests ‘Tiger’snMilk’ for one’s petit dejeuner;

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n“Beat up the yokes of six eggs well,nwith “a modicum” or half-pint of spirit (rum or brandy), three lumpsnof sugar, a bit of lemon peel cut thin, and a little spice, such as cloves orncardamums. Add a quart of new milk, mix well, grating in the third of a nutmeg,nand you will have a stirrup cup for three persons.”

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nBrandy for breakfast. That’s thenspirit.

nFrancis Galton, in The Art ofnTravel, (1854 – 5^th Ed. 1872) is equally helpful for thosenvisiting the Dark Continent.

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n“Savages rarely murdernnew-comers; they fear their guns, and have a superstitious awe of the whitenman’s power.”

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n“Of all European inventions, nothing so impresses andnterrifies savages as fireworks especially rockets.”

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n“Smell of Negro –A skulkingnnegro may sometimes be smelt out like a fox.”

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n“If a savage does mischief,nlook on him as you would on a kicking mule, or a wild animal, whose nature isnto be unruly and vicious, and keep your temper quite unruffled.”

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nMr Francis Galton, it should be pointed out, was a greatnbeliever in eugenics as well as being a traveller in Africa. Such attitudesnwere common in the mid-Victorian age, although some travellers, like Mary Kingsley, did not hold (wholly) to them. This nonsense continued well into thenlast century (and can still be found in this one, if you care to look underncertain stones), as this quote from Notes On Travel In South And East Africanby Percy Wagner and Tudor Trevor (1922) illustrates,

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n“The Native of South ornEast Africa … is, as a rule, a slave to superstition including a belief innwitchcraft … [and] he should accordingly be treated as a man on a lowernplane of civilisation but not as a wholly inferior being.”

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nSo, bear this advice in mind when next you travel. Oh, andndo not forget to pack your knitted helmet.