The Questionable Quackery of the Dubious 'Doctors'

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n             As in most instances, H L Menckennwas absolutely spot on when he wrote,

nNotes on Journalism 1926

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nAnd in no sphere is this as truenas in that of medicine. The readiness of Mencken’s ‘plain people’ to believe innany humbug or quackery put before them is so eager it seems to amount to wilfulncontrariness. There is nothing, it appears, in which they will not put theirntrust, regardless of how ridiculous, improbable or down right impossible it is.nIndeed, the more outlandish it is, the more faith (and money) they seem toninvest in it. 

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nIn 1771, Luigi Galvani discovered that if electricity was passednthrough the sciatic nerve of a dead frog, its legs would twitch. Galvani coinednthe term ‘animal electricity’, and pretty soon there was burgeoning business inn‘electric’ medicine. For instance, for the sum of $2.50 one could purchase onenof Addison’s Galvanic Electric Belts, made from scarlet and yellowncotton, with copper and zinc pieces sewn in and separated by blotting paper,nwhich arrived in its own box and with an accompanying ‘lecture’ extolling thenvirtues of electricity,

nWhat it didn’t tell its buyersnwas that these belts could be bought from the manufacturers, the ElectricnAppliance Company, for $1.10 per dozen. Quite a tidy profit.

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nIf you prefer not to wear a belt,nthen might I interest you in the Oxybon, a device that will cure allnyour ills by introducing oxygen directly into your body? It comes courtesy ofnDr G W Filloon, who bought his medical diploma from The Metropolitan MedicalnCollege, Chicago in 1899, (where anyone with the money could buy just such an‘qualification’). The Oxybon is placed in cold water and the handles arengripped, and nothing happens. All for a rental price of $5.00 a month.

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nIf none of this appeals, hownabout the ‘Blue Light’ theory put forward by the Civil War General, AugustusnJames Pleasonton, in his book The Influence Of The Blue Ray Of The SunlightnAnd Of The Blue Colour Of The Sky (1876) – printed, thoughtfully, onnblue-coloured paper. Thousands of people spent thousands of hours sittingnbeneath panes of blue glass in the vain hope of curing their various ills.nQuite a few farmers bought blue glass panes and installed them in theirngreenhouses, in the hope that the blue light would increase crop production. 

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nPleasonton’s book is a marvel of non sequiturs, speculations and outrightnbarminess; he rambles about magnetism, geology, biology, the Bible and thenvirtues of temperance. The pairs of legs of quadrupeds are, we are reliablyntold, horseshoe magnets that draw power from the rotating iron magnet in the centrenof the Earth. Plants grow better in Spring because the sky is bluer than it isnin Winter. Whales need to mate for three-quarters of an hour in order to buildnup sufficient ‘electricity, magnetism and heat’ to fertilize the ovum.nThis all comes from the mind of a man who was placed in charge of 10,000ninfantrymen at the defence of Philadelphia!

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nThe crown as the Ananias ofnQuackdom however sits firmly on the head of Dr G W Curry of Lebanon, Ohio. Thisn‘physician’ claimed not only to have discovered the ‘germ’ responsible forncancer, but had also found the sure cure, claiming that he could heal even thenworst cases in twenty days and that, “To use other treatment simply invitesndeath.” Curry offered numerous testimonials from prominent local citizens,nincluding the county treasurer, the Sheriff, the recorder, the auditor, anjudge, two attorneys, and two bankers. He also made a number of claims tonvarious medical positions in a variety of organisations, which were eithernshown later to be imaginative or down right fraudulent. 

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nHe insertednadvertisements in newspapers offering to cure cancers of any sort in a matternof days. Should you have replied to Curry’s advert, you would receive a letternand questionnaire in return. If this was not sent back, follow up letters wouldnbe sent, highlighting the danger of delaying, and promising to remove ‘everynfiber, filament and tendril’ of the cancer, with no risk of it returning.nIf you parted with your $25, you would receive Dr Curry’s Red Ointment, ancompound of assorted chemicals, antiseptics, narcotics and caustics. When thenauthorities got round to investigating this miracle worker, it was found thatnthe Red Ointment was mildly caustic, and that “… the claims, representationsnand promises employed in promoting this treatment are false and deceptive.” 

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nAnfraud order was issued against ‘Dr’ Curry when it was found that his diagnosesnof cancers were most often harmless sores, on which the Red Ointment had littleneffect but which healed normally, for which Curry then took the credit.nUnfortunately, in the cases of true cancer, his fraud would have diverted thensufferer from seeking real medical treatment, offered false hope to the dying,nand ultimately contributed to a painful death. For $25 a pop.

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nSuch quackery and humbugnsurrounds us still. Alternative medicine that actually works has a name – it isncalled ‘medicine’. But there are sharks, con-men and criminals enough out therento part the credulous from their money, offer false hope to the gullible andnlie to the ignorant. And there are the ‘deceived deceivers’, those who havenbeen taken in by quackery without knowing it, and then pass it off and endorsenit as of real value. 

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nLet’s be clear about this. You can’t cure yourself bynsitting in a pyramid. Crystals do not have ‘energy’ which can heal you.nChromotherapy is not chemotherary. Water does not have a ‘memory’. ‘It just works’ isnnot a valid argument. There are no fairies at the bottom of the garden. And ifnyou don’t get your kids vaccinated, you deserve to have them taken away fromnyou and placed into the care of proper grown-ups, because you are risking theirnlives, and the lives of other people’s children, for a ‘theory’ that you do notnunderstand.

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