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The Lengthening List of the Blarneying Butchers


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n                 Further murders followed – one morning Mrs Hare metnan old woman, took her home, cracked out the whisky bottle, got her drunk andnput her to bed. Hare came home for his lunch, shoved the bedding over thenwoman’s face and went back to work. When he returned later, she had suffocatednand another fresh specimen went off to the anatomists. 

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nEffy the cinder woman,nmet a similar fate. This old woman collected what she could from cinder pitsnand scrap heaps, and sold on what bits of leather she found to Burke, stillnostensibly a respectable cobbler. He gave her a dram, and another, then Harenarrived, so the bottle went round again until Effy climbed onto a pile of haynto sleep it off. She didn’t wake up again and another £10 was had from Dr Knox. 

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William Burke

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nBurke’s respectable local reputation allowed him to intervene when a drunkennwoman was being taken to the West Port watch-house by a policeman, AndrewnWilliamson, whom he persuaded to pass her over into his care. She was next seennon a slab at Surgeon’s Square. 

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nWidow Hostler, a washerwoman, was next to go,ngot drunk by Burke, smothered by Hare, sold by them both for £8 (and ninepencenha’penny, which they forced out of the dead woman’s hand). 

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Helen McDougal

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nOld Mary Haldane, anformer lodger at Tanner’s Close, had once been something of a beauty, but anseries of deceptions in her youth had broken her, and now, in her drunkenndotage, she was a target of local sympathy and ridicule in equal measure. Burkendrove off some of the district brats who were teasing ‘Mistress Mary’ and wasnwalking her back home, when they met Hare in the street. Invited by her formernlandlord for the customary dram, Mary didn’t need asking twice, and thenalliterative ‘dram, drunk, dead’ trilogy was played out yet again. 

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nPeggynHaldane, Mary’s daughter, missed her mother and made enquiries of hernwhereabouts, which eventually led her to the Hare household. Tales were told,nstories spun and lies laid, Peggy had a dram, Burke arrived, more merry toasts,nfollowed by slurring and rambling, until dull and stupid, Peggy lay down for anrest. Face down, Burke and Hare did their dirty despatching and anotherntea-chest was lugged to Dr Knox.

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Tea chest

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nBurke happened upon an old Irish woman, new tonEdinburgh, a stranger in a strange land looking for some countryman to affordnher some customary Celtic hospitality. With her was her simple-minded, deaf,ndumb and blind grandson, and Burke took the pair home with him, with much talknof the Ould Country and promises of a welcoming draught. Out came the bottle,nand round it was passed, with the two Irishmen blarneying away to theirncountrywoman whilst Mary Hare kept the boy out of the parlour. Inevitably, thenwhisky did its work and as Grandma slept, Burke and Hare took her life and hernbreath away. But what to do with the child? He was not a threat – he was just andeaf, dumb and blind kid – but could they merely abandon him alone in thenmiddle of the big city? The following morning Burke solved the dilemma. He tooknthe boy into the same room where his fallen grandmother lay, took him tenderlynupon his bended knee and stretched his little body until his back broke. 

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Murder most foul

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nBynnow, the supply of tea chests at Tanner’s Close was spent so Hare found annempty herring barrel and stuffed the bodies into it, then loaded it onto hisnwagon and set off to see the Doctor. Hare’s horse had other ideas however, andnwhen it reached the Meal Market it stopped, and no amount of whipping andnlashing by Burke, Hare and the crowd of spectators could persuade it to move.nThe barrel was transferred onto a hired hand cart before its grisly secretncould be discovered and was sent on to Surgeon’s Square, with Burke going aheadnto announce its imminent arrival. The contents had stiffened so much in transitnthat it was difficult to get the cadavers out, but after much pulling and yanking,nout they came and sixteen pounds were handed over. Again, no questions asked.nBack at the wagon, Hare dragged the horse, sans cart, into anneighbouring tan yard, where it was shot. It was discovered to have two largendried up sores on its back, which had been stuffed with cotton and covered upnwith the skin of another horse. Small wonder it had refused to proceed.

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nMore killings tomorrow

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See also  5 Disturbing Phantom Hitchhiker Horror Stories
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