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n You may call me far too fussy if you wish, but Indon’t think the most propitious way to kick-start your marriage is to send yournmistress off to the docks to meet your bride-to-be as she steps off the ship.nNot when you haven’t even met her before. And she’s your first cousin. Andnespecially not when you’re already one half of an invalid marriage.
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nBut thennagain, I’m not heir apparent to the British throne, so maybe that’s thendifference. George, Prince of Wales, obviously thought that it was the way to go,nand packed Frances Villiers off to Greenwich to welcome Caroline of Brunswicknto England.
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| Frances Villiers, Countess of Jersey |
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nVilliers, Countess of Jersey, was the mother of ten children, angrandmother, and forty years old, (not that there’s anything wrong with any ofnthose things, but they’re hardly the attributes you’d expect in a royalncourtesan). George, as I’ve mentioned, was already married, to MarianFitzherbert who, by her mid-twenties, had already been widowed twice.
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| Maria Fitzherbert |
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nGeorgenhad become infatuated with her, pursued her relentlessly, and stumped up £500nto get a debt-ridden parson out of clink to marry him to his merry widow.nExcept, as heir to the British throne, he needed the King’s (and the PrivynCouncil’s) permission to marry anyone, and you can be damn sure that thatnpermission wouldn’t have been forthcoming when it was discovered that thenprospective bride was a commoner (and a Roman Catholic to boot).
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| George, Prince of Wales |
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n So, for thosenreasons at the very least, their union was declared invalid, leaving Georgenfree to wed his father’s sister’s daughter, something that George only agreednto do when Parliament offered him copious amounts of cash in return for hisncompliance.
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| Queen Charlotte |
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nHis mother, Charlotte of Mecklenberg-Strelitz, would have preferrednhim to have married a different cousin, one of her brother’s daughters,nPrincess Louise (who went on to become Queen of Prussia), who was younger andnmore beautiful than George’s father’s preference, his sister’s daughter,nCaroline of Brunswick. Frances Villiers, the mistress, pressed George to gonalong with the King’s choice, probably because it would be a tad easier for hernto keep her hooks in the Prince if he married the less attractive Caroline.
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| Charlotte of Brunswick |
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nAtntwenty-six, Caroline was getting a little long in her rapidly diminishing teeth, andnher spinsterhood was, the nastier rumours said, the result of a relaxednattitude to chastity in her teenaged years, something that was somewhat unbecoming in anfuture bride of the greater houses of European royalty. Her first reaction,nwhen she was told she might eventually become the Queen of England, was understandablendelight. It also meant that she would have a good reason to get out ofnBrunswick, a nice enough place, I am perfectly sure, but hardly London, Parisnor Madrid.
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| James Harris, 1st Earl of Malmesbury |
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nSo, when the Earl of Malmesbury arrived in Brunswick, with orders tonwhisk her off to an English (well, German really, but you get the drift)nmarriage, she was perfectly prepared to shake the dust of her littlenprincipality off her dancing pumps, up sticks, and head for the west. Indeed,nshe was so satisfied with the situation that when one of her teeth fell out,nshe gave it to Malmesbury as a grateful memento (and they say that the Germans lackna sense of humour).
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| Caroline Lands at Greenwich (The Official Version) |
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nSo, in April 1795, the Augusta sailed up the Thamesnto Greenwich, with Caroline, Malmesbury and their party on board, and where Villiersnwas supposed to be there to greet them. Except, she wasn’t. She wasndeliberately late, leaving Caroline to sit around for an hour until she arrivedn- the royal mistress letting her know, right from the outset, just where shenstood (or sat).
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| Caroline Lands at Greenwich (What Really Happened). |
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nAnd to rub a little more salt into the wound, George, with hisnmother’s contrivance, had made his mistress the Lady of the Bedchamber too.nWhen Villiers finally turned up, she passed a snide criticism of Caroline’sncouture (we don’t know what it was, but Malmesbury’s diary says she
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n“…expressednherself in a way which induced me to speak rather sharply to her.”).n
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| Caroline of Brunswick |
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nRoundnFour then got underway, as Villiers announced that she could not possibly sitnin the carriage with her back to the horses, and that she would have to sitnalongside the Princess. Malmesbury stepped in again (the more you read aboutnMalmesbury, the more you have to like him) – if she didn’t like sitting with her backnto the horses, why ever did she accept the position of Lady of the Bedchamber,nwho never ought to sit forward, he asked. Villiers upped the odds, she would benquite sick if she sat backwards, she threatened, but the admirable Malmesburynwas more than ready for this sort of chicanery.
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nIn that case, he said, MrsnAston would sit with the Princess in one carriage, and Mrs Villiers could takenher vacated seat in his carriage, where he and Lord Claremont would enjoy thenpleasure of her company, and where she could sit with her back to the horses tonher heart’s content. Villiers, knowing when she was bested, opted forndiscretion and sat beside Mrs Harcourt, their backs to the horses and bothnfacing the Princess, and arrived, sans vomir, at St James’s, in the Dukenof Cumberland’s apartments, Cleveland Row, at half past two in the afternoon.
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nGeorge immediately came over from Carlton House to meet the ill-starrednPrincess, who graciously advanced and attempted to kneel before him, but thengallant George bent and helped her to her feet. Suddenly spinning on his heel, allngallantry gone, he headed for the opposite corner of the room at a considerablenrate of knots and whispered gravely in Malmesbury’s ear,
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n“Harris, I am notnvery well; pray get me a glass of brandy.”n
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nMaybe, thought Malmesburynhalf-aloud, the Prince has had enough brandy for one day;
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n“Sir, had you notnbetter have a glass of water?”n
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n“No,” said the Prince, with an very crudenoath, “I will go directly to the Queen,” and off he trotted to his mumsie. Was it the sight of her, or was it maybe the smell of her? Let’s guess…
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nStill,nCaroline wasn’t all that impressed with her new beau either, as she confided innMalmesbury.
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n“Mon Dieu! Est ce que le Prince est toujours comme cela? Je lentrouve très gros, et nullement aussi beau que son portrait.”n
n[My God! Is the Prince is always like that? I find him very fat, and notnnearly as handsome as his portrait.]n
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| A slim and handsome Prince of Wales? |
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nWell, offnto a spiffing start, then. And do you think things improved or did they get evennworse? Think about it until tomorrow,nwhen I’ll continue with how things turned out.
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