1988 kung-fu comedy
Bad Movie Rating: 2/5 (Josh: 1/5; Fred: 3/5; Libby: 3/5; Kristen: gave up; Alicia: gave up)
Rating: 9/20
Plot: Some kids get their marshmallow handbag mixed up with the marshmallow handbag of some criminals, and Nicole Kidman’s not around to do anything about it.
Confession: I have no idea what happened in this movie. That happens when you’re watching an Asian movie with no subtitles. Of course, it was dubbed. In German. How’s that for an interesting experience? A kung-fu comedy dubbed in German. I can’t say I’d recommend the experience. Josh, as a matter of fact, told me that this was the worst experience of his entire life. Or something like that. I’m paraphrasing. This is what happens when you put Fred and Libby in charge of Bad Movie Club for a night, I guess.
Actually, I’m not 100% positive that we even watched a movie called The 5 Kung Fu Kids. The title screen said Lucky Kids: The 5 Superfighters, but I can’t find anything called that. I looked up the name of the director–Chu Chen Huang–and found this. Fred and Libby actually wanted to watch a kung-fu movie they caught part of at a restaurant called The Five Superfighters, but they mistakenly led us to this one instead.
Of course, it could be this movie:
Do I have a lot to say about this movie? I don’t know. A fight sequence that utilizes bicycles isn’t half bad, and the lengthy fight-filled climax has a few good moments. And a lot of people flying out of windows. In fact, it might break some sort of record for the most characters who break through windows in one movie. What else does this have to offer? You’ve got comical costumes; 4 kids who, if you squint and tilt your head to the side, kind of look like Herve Villachaize; some exaggerated sound effects, bicycle braking squeaks and misplayed trombones and Pacman dying sounds; a second BMC outing featuring Japanese hopping vampires; a soundtrack that can’t figure out what it wants to be but does impress by lifting parts of the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark; characters dressed like Mario and Luigi; a trio of rectal gags and one fart attack. It’s the sort of thing you imagine Japanese people laughing at, but I doubt it would have been any funnier even if it was in English and I could understand what the hell was going on.
Bad Movie Club has reached a new low.
I think I’ve seen these hopping vampires in four movies now. I can’t say I understand what’s going on there.
