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nTitle: Solarbabies (1986)
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nDirector: Alan Johnson
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nCast: Richard Jordan, Jami Gertz, Jason Patric, Lukas Haas,nJames LeGros
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nReview:
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nSolarbabies is one of the few postnapocalyptic movies made specifically for kids. The only other one that I can really think of is City of Ember (2008), but correct me If I’m wrong here. Because Solarbabies was aimed at kids, it’s a bit sillier than your typical postnapocalyptic film. This silliness can also be attributed to the fact that Solarbabiesncomes straight out of the eighties, where movies were sillier, and yeah, for lack of a better word ‘cornier’. Some of these eighties films really make you wonder hownthey were ever greenlit, but that’s precisely why I love 80’s stuff; they hadnthe guts to be really cuh-razy! How nuts isnthis movie? Well, just the fact that it’s a sci-fi film produced by Mel Brooks makesnit zany enough in my book; and it’s not even a comedy! Well, at least notnintentionally so. This is a film I used to watch a lot back when I was a kid; butneven with my nostalgia goggles on, I couldn’t get passed the fact that this wasn’tna very good movie.
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nSolarbabies tells the story of a group of kids who live innthis Nazi-like orphanage in the middle of a post apocalyptic dessert wasteland.nThis orphanage exists solely for creating soldiers for ‘The Protectorate’. Innthis place, kids are indoctrinated in the ways of submission and violence. Theynare allowed to roller-skate in certain designated areas while huge television screensnplay government films that tell them what to think and how to behave. They tellnthem things like “Behavior determines existence. Stick with us, learn to servenThe Order and you’ll achieve a decent life-grid” In other words, freedom fornthese kids is out of the question; but is there something else out there in thenpost apocalyptic wasteland for them? At the same time, the Nazi like governmentnhas control over every drop of water on the planet. When will water be free forneveryone? One day, a magical glowing sphere called ‘Bohdi’ falls from the skiesnand befriends the kids. The magical sphere is alive! It performs miracles! And itnlikes to play Rollerball! Will ‘Bohdi’ help these kids escape the oppression?
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nSolarbabies is like a who’s who of 80’s teen idols. We getnthe always beautiful Jami Gertz who once again works next Jason Patric’s who does his first performance in a film on this one.nJamie Gertz and Jason Patric apparently got along so well that they laterncollaborated again on The Lost Boys (1988), one o the most recognized vampirenfilms of the 80’s. Their characters fall in love in both movies, which leads usnto believe their might have been something else going on behind cameras? Wenalso get James LeGros’s first performance ever, I remember him for hisnparticipation in films like Phantasm II (1988) and Near Dark (1987) andnspeaking of Near Dark, actor Adrian Pasdar who plays the character of ‘Darstar’non Solarbabies also appeared in Near Dark, which by the way is another greatnvampire film from the 80’s. Lukas Haas was the child actor of the moment at thentime, he had already worked with Harrison Ford on the critically acclaimed filmnWitness (1985). And interestingly enough, Solarbabies would mark Lukas Haasnsecond foray into post apocalyptic films, his first one being the highlyndramatic television film Testament (1983), where he acted along side KevinnCostner. So I think it’s safe to say that Solarbabies is filled with what were then‘it’ kids in Hollywood
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nThe film has many faults going against it, most of which have tondo with logic. Here’s one for you, the kids live in a Nazi like concentrationncamp, which is protected by armed cops and cars and watchtowers and all that,nbut when the time comes to escape, the kids simply waltz right out of thenplace, no fuss, no problems. Nobody even tries to stop them; they simply roller-skatentheir way out of the place. They leave the place screaming “We’re free! We didnit! Yay!” Hey kids, newsflash: all you had to do was roller-skate out of there,napparently you were never really prisoners to begin with. And that’s anothernthing, in this world, every single place has a flat surface for them to skatenin, even the open dessert! First their mission is to escape The Protectorate,nbut then by the end of the film their mission becomes going right back to thenplace they first ran away from! And they waltz right back in again, without anynweapons or anything! These kids skate into a Nazi like concentration camp with onlynhockey sticks in hands! Nothing more! What else is up with this movie?
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nThe film borrows heavily from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (1986)nand Dune (1984), but mostly from Dune. Let’s see, characters live in a dessert likenplanet, where water is a precious commodity. We have a group of people who livenout in the open dessert called the Eco-Warriors, protectors of water andnfreedom…damn, this sounds a lot like the Fremen from Dune! Heck, there is this onenscene that was ripped off directly from Dune in which a character puts his handnon a device that apparently burns the skin off of his hand, but then henrealizes it never really happened, it was all in his mind. It was all his ownnfears playing with him; same as that test they perform on Paul Atreides onnDavid Lynch’s Dune. There is a town on this film called ‘Tire nTown ’ which looks and feels a heck ofna lot like ‘Barter n Town
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nBut the thing I hated the most about this movie is that itnfunctions in the same way as the Chronicles of Narnia films work: they are anmetaphor for believing in Baby Jesus and Christianity in general. That’s right,nthis movie is all about Christianity, and any movie that propagates the idea ofnreligion goes down a couple of notches in my book. Let’s see. The kids arenoppressed, but a magical being comes down from the heavens to help them! Itnperforms miracles, cures decease, makes it rain inside of a room, for all intentsnand purposes the magical sphere on this movie is Jesus. Sometimes the sphere isnnot with them, but “they can feel it”, the overall idea being that Bohdi (the magicalnalien sphere) is always with them and will always be with them. The magic ofnthe ball unites them, they are always ultra happy whenever the ball is withnthem. One moment in the film has Jason Patric’s character (daftly enough alsonnamed Jason) talk to Bohdi telling it that he doesn’t know what it is, but henwants to believe. Characters have these questions about Bohdi, in the same way thatnpeople question the existence of God. In the end, to me both Bohdi and Jesus arenthe same thing: imaginary beings performing miracles that can only come to lifenthrough the magic of fiction. Be it a book, or a movie, these miracles nevernhappen in real life.
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nThe Power of Bohdi Unites Them!
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nIn the end, Solarbabies in a mess of a movie with a bunch ofndisparate ideas that are never really followed through completely; for example,ntake those Eco-Warriors, why didn’t they go against the system instead ofnletting all these kids do it by themselves? Could it be that it would cost toonmuch money to present the idea of an army? This group of Warriors we only meetnbriefly then they disappear from the film entirely. Same with another group ofnwarriors that live out in the dessert. They are presented, and eliminated innthe blink of an eye. So we have a movie that’s all over the place in terms ofnstory and plot, it goes from one place to the next without any natural flow. Wenjump from one plot point to the next with childish enthusiasm “Let’s go! Let’sndo it! Yay!” This film simply throws logic out the window. Ultimately, evennthough I enjoyed watching this one as a child, I ended up not enjoying it sonmuch as an adult because it has so many faults going for it. But then again,nthis film was directed by a choreographer, a guy named Alan Johnson. ApparentlynJohnson convinced his pal Mel Brooks to fund the film; Johnson had directednBrook’s To Be Or Not To Be (1983), so they already had a professionalnrelationship. By the way To Be Or Not To Be is the only other film in Johnsons repertoire.nIn my eyes Johnson is a great choreographer, but not a great director which isnprobably why he’s never directed again. Or maybe he’s never directed againnbecause because Solarbabies was such a huge flop, take your pick. Solarbabiesncost about 8 million to make, but only made 1.5 million back; sad indeed. Still,nI think kids would enjoy this film, I know I did when I was about 10. I’d alsonrecommend it to all those Christian parents out there who want to help theirnkids get used to the idea of a magical imaginary being that’s always lookingnout for you in life. My kids will be watching Mad Max Beyond Thundedome insteadn(1985).
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nRating: 2 1/2 out of 5
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