n
n
n
n
nPixels (2015)
n
n
n
nDirector: Chris Columbus
n
n
n
nCast: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, PeternDinklage, Josh Gad, Brian Cox, Sean Bean, Dan Aykroyd
n
n
n
nCurrently, it feels as if people are programmed to hate any Adam Sandler film released, even without having seen it. They’re prerogative is that Adam Sandler no longernmakes “good movies”. Nowadays, you can’t read a review for an Adam Sandler filmnwithout it centering around how much Sandler sucks now and how he hasn’t made angood movie in eons and blah, blah, blah. I’m not into hating for hates sake,nwhich is what is apparently happening with Sandler, it’s this hive likenmentality of hatred towards Sandler. Where does the hatred stem from? Probablynfrom the string of bad movies he’s been making. The last torturous one I sawnwas Jack and Jill (2011) and that one turned me off from seeing Sandler movies.nHow did I end up seeing that one in theaters you might ask? Well, I like tongive movies the benefit of the doubt, sometimes I come out a winner andndiscover a film I would have not seen otherwise, but other times, like withnJack and Jill it’s just like“WHYYYYY?!” The way I see it and in Sandler’sndefense I will say that we can’t really blame Sandler for making bland familynmovies, because that’s who he is, he’s the all encompassing actor who makesnfilms that are supposed to appeal to everyone. He’s movies are made to benconsumed in mass quantities and in order to do that, the film has to be ancertain way. They can’t be too intense, or bloody, or offensive or violent,nthey gotta have that ‘feel good, nothing bad is going to happen’ vibe to them.nLike, don’t take nothing to seriously, you’re here just to have some fun. Let’snjust accept that he’s the guy who makes that type of film, that’s who he’snbecome. He’s gone the way of Eddie Murphy, but in a successful way? My advicenis, if you don’t like the crappy pappy movies that Sandler makes, don’t go andnsee them! Just wait until he works with a good director, gets critical acclaimnagain and makes something like Punch Drunk Love (2002), his only truly good filmnif you ask me.
n
n
n
n
n
n
n
nSo just how squeaky clean is Pixels? Well, just by way of annexample, in one scene when Sandler sees Pac-Man eat the hand of his creator, andnSandler he says “that was some weird….stuff” instead of “That was somenweird…shit!” He even pauses before saying ‘stuff’ as if mentally correctingnhimself saying “nope, gotta keep it PG-13!” But whatever man, you can sayn“shit” in a PG-13 movie, it’s just that you’re so self censored that you can’tneven bring yourself to say shit. The most basic of cusses. It feels as ifnSandler is in a censored state of mind even as he films, in other words, no realnspace to cut loose and go crazy. Feels like there’s no improv and if you have angood comedian on your film, usually that’s where comedy gold is at, the improv.nBut no, dialog here is clean as a whistle, god forbid word of mouth spreads andna mother ends up saying something like “my kid is not going to see that nastynAdam Sandler movie, he’s always cussing”. So following Sandler’s squeaky cleannmovie rules, the film will have kids and families, often times dysfunctionalnfamilies facing problems and overcoming them (like a divorce for example) andnSandler will be sympathetic and kind to the kid in the movie because that’s thentarget audience. So this is the kind of movie you can expect my friends. A filmnfollowing a formula every step of the way. Nothing is to be taken too seriously;nyou can’t invest yourself emotionally because you know nobody will die. Not inna squeaky clean Adam Sandler family movie like this one, so just sit back andnwatch the fireworks, which is really the only thing that this movie is goodnfor.
n
n
n
n
n
n
n
nSome folks seem to think that this film was based on annepisode of Futurama that has a similar premise, but in reality, this film isnbased on a French short film that lasts only about 2 ½ minutes, it is also callednPixels (which you can see here) and it sets the ground rules for the look and the mechanics of the’nvideo games come to life’ part of the film. The short makes no sense ornmeaning, it just shows us a guy putting an old television in the garbage andnsuddenly from said television all these old video games emerge. Suddenly DonkeynKong is on top of the Empire State building throwing barrels, Pac Man is eatingnstreet cars and Centipedes fly through the skies. In the short, the video gamencharacters destroy the city by turning everything they touch into square littlenpixels, but that’s about as far as the thing goes. It has no story, nonvillains, no heroes, just a concept which Chris Columbus and Adam Sandler rannwith and stretched into a film. And I say stretched because that’s what theyndid, the films premise is so simple, the story so non-existent, the charactersnso one note that they had to stretch things out. Pixels feels repetitive and one note; we fight one videongame, beat it, then fight the next one, and they go on and on like this tillnthe end. There’s nothing unexpected here, this is as formulaic as it gets.nWorst part? This is the kind of movie in which the trailer has shown youneverything. If you’ve seen the trailer, then you know, step by step how thisnmovie is going to go.
n
n
n
n
n
n
n
nWhat this movie is though is a nostalgia bomb. If you werenborn in the 80’s and played video games in arcades the way I did, you will feelna shot of nostalgia in your system. I have to admit it was cool seeing a giantnPac-Man eating up taxi cabs and city streets, especially since I’m such anPac-Man nut! It was awesome seeing a giant King Kong throwing barrels at AdamnSandler, and then there’s this scene where they simply throw as many old videongame characters on the screen as they can, so you’ll see Frogger, Q-bert,nPaperboy, Centipede, Galaga, Space Invaders…and that’s without counting all thenother characters from 80’s pop culture that show up in the film like MaxnHeadroom, Ronald Reagan, Madonna and Hall & Oates. The soundtrack is madenup of hits from the 80’s all the way. So in this sense, the movie provesnentertaining to an extent, you will be like “Oh there’s Q-Bert!” Still, I thinknthey could have used even more classic video game characters on the film,napparently they could only afford to use a limited amount of characters. Wherenwas the knight from Ghosts and Goblins? Sadly, the novelty of seeing old videongame characters on screen is the only thing this film has to offer, the movienitself is just a bunch of empty calories starting by the fact that the villainsnin this movie are faceless, we never really know who they are because they talknthrough videogame characters. So suddenly, our favorite old school video gamesnare evil. I mean, I never saw Pac-Man as a bad guy? But there he is eatingnpeople up! So yeah, this is yet another film with a weak villain whom we neverneven get to meet. Pixels is extremely simple and banal that’s all I can say.
n
n
n
n
n
n
n
nChris Columbus directs this film and it’s sad to see him directing such a simplistic film, considering he’s actually done decent family films like Home Alone and Home Alone 2, hell this is the guy who wrote Gremlins (1984) and freaking The Goonies (1985)! I would have liked something from Columbus with a little more story put into it, instead the whole film runs on a gag, not really even trying to get us invested. Pixel does have its moments,nagain, mostly its moments are associated with the appearance of the giant videongame characters, but where’s the comedy? It’s not here; Pixels feels like theynare not even really trying. I mean, you got all these good actors and comediansnin your movie, why not have them throw in some of their own personality, letnthem improvise, let them put a little of their soul into the proceedings. Thisnis the reason why Ghostbusters (1984) worked so well, it had a lot of BillnMurray and Dan Aykroyd in it, it’s their personalities that bring thosencharacters to life. In contrast, on Pixels Sandler seems to have nonpersonality, he’s got this spaced out, bored look on his face all the time?nLike he doesn’t even want to speak? He’s so laid back that he comes of asnlifeless. So yeah, I get why people hate on Sandler so much, he’s just notndoing anything relevant lately, I hope he gets his mojo back at some point. Still,nPixels isn’t terrible, it’s completely watchable, just not very engaging ornhilarious. It’s simply put a very average film. But hey, there’s Froggernjumping and smashing a car into pieces! Cool!
n
n
n
n
nRating: 2 out of 5
n
n
n
n
n
n
n
