Ninja III: The Domination (1984)

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nNinja III: The Domination (1984)

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nDirector: Schmulik “Sam” Fistenberg

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nCast: Sho Kosugi, Lucinda Dickey, Jordan Bennett, DavidnChung, James Hong

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nFirst things first, let’s start by saying that Ninja III:nThe Domination (1984) was directed by Schmulik “Sam” Fistenberg, the same guynwho directed Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984). I guess that should benenough to let you know the kind of nutty film you can expect with Ninja III:nThe Domination (1984). Ninja III…okay, let’s start by that, Cannon Films nevernproduced a film called Ninja, or Ninja II, so why the hell is there a Ninja III:nThe Domination (1984)? My best guess is that this is a spiritual follow up tonEnter the Ninja (1981) and Revenge of the Ninja (1983). Ninja III: ThenDomination (1984) can’t even be called a sequel, because none of these filmsnare connected to one another, they don’t have a story line that unites them savenfor the fact that they are all about Ninjas and that they all starred Sho Kosugi in one form or another, albeit in different roles in each film. I remember when all these moviesnwere being released; Ninjas were so cool back then. They certainly captured mynimagination as a kid, I was always drawing them. And it’s only now that I realizenjust how much these movies influenced me as a kid! Back then it was all about AmericannNinja (1985) and Gymkata (1985). I was obsessed with ninja weapons and the whole mystical side of thenwhole ninja thing. Basically, back when I was around ten, I was ninja crazy.nBack then these movies didn’t feel funny, because I was just a kid, but now thatnI’m all grown, these movies are slap to the knee hilarious!

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nThe premise for Ninja III: The Domination is that this ninjanis out on the prowl killing golf players. Why, for what reason? Who the hellnknows, the movie just starts out like that, with this ninja invading a golfnfield filled with rich old dudes playing golf. My guess is we’re supposed tonpresume that these are evil rich old dudes, because why else would a ninja havento come out of the blue to massacre them right? So anyways, the deal is someonenends up calling the cops and every cop and their mother shows up to kill thisnone ninja. In spite of having shot him with every conceivable gun, from everynconceivable angle (without a drop of blood showing I might add) the ninjanmanages to escape them. Enter a woman named Christie; she works fixingntelephone lines all by herself in the middle of nowhere. Suddenly, she stumblesnupon the moribund ninja, who works some kind of ninja magic on Christie whichnallows him to posses her. Now, having possessed this new female body, the ninjancan avenge his death from beyond the grave. It’s cop killing time!

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nThis movie is crazy from the get go, frame one, scene one.nThe nuttiness starts when you see the Cannon Films logo light up the screen. Ifnyou don’t know anything about Cannon Films, allow me to fill you in. CannonnFilms was a film production company responsible for some of the craziest filmsnfrom the 80’s and by crazy I mean totally bat shit insane type of films. If you’renfeeling frisky and want to explore the type of crazy movies these guys used to produce, then go and watch Breakin’ (1984) or Breakin’ 2: ElectricnBoogaloo (1985) and if those movies aren’t crazy enough for you then watchnInvasion U.S.A. (1985). If you find these films fascinating and alluringnbecause of their insanity, then do yourself a favor and watch the excellentndocumentary on the crazy history behind this film studio called ElectricnBoogaloo: The Wild and Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014). In a nutshell, thesentwo guys from Israel, Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus came to the U.S. to makenmovies and money. The films the produced were made with meager budgets andntight shooting schedules. Most of these films were shot in a couple of weeks.nHell, sometimes the poster was made before the film itself! Sometimes thendistribution rights were sold before the movies were even made! Ah, those were thenglory days of video clubs! Back then, independent film studios like these madenmovies because they knew they’d make their money back on video. The results ofnthis modus operandi were cheap and quick movies, where the filmmakers reallyndidn’t have the time to iron out the details of a script; they didn’t reallynhave any time to make sense of the story. Basically, they shot the film before realizingnit didn’t make an iota of sense. This is the reason why these movies are soncrazy. I have to say I love these movies exactly the way they are. They arenjust fun to watch, they put a smile on my face every time.

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nHow crazy is this movie? Let me count the ways. First off, the story takes place somewhere in Arizona (that’s where they shotnit) yet for some unexplained reason there’s an ancient Chinese temple in thenmiddle of the dessert with Shaolin Monks and everything! What? Then for somenunexplained reason, the evil ninja goes into a cave to find a stash of magicalnninja weapons hidden inside of a glowing rock. What the hell was that allnabout? I don’t know, but there they were, swords, katanas and ninja stars insidenof a rock that glowed with purple light! Then we have Christie, the girl whongets possessed by the ninja. She’s sort of a cheap knock off of Jennifer Bealsnin Flashdance (1983). Why do I say this? Well,  she not only fixes telephone lines, she’s alsonan aerobics instructor! This element of course amps up the 80’s vibe to eleven!nSuddenly we’re thrown right in the middle of an aerobics class filled withnpeople dressed in head bands and leg warmers, all to the tune of the cheesiestnrock soundtrack this side of David Powell! How eighties is this movie? Well,nChristie has her own arcade machine in her apartment that’s how eighties! Bynthe way at one point the arcade machine becomes possessed by the spirit of thenninja and starts shooting laser beams that hypnotize Christie! Like I said, batnshit insane.

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nNot convinced yet? Well, this movie is the equivalent ofnmixing The Exorcist (1973) with ninjas and Chinese mysticism. There’s this onenmajestic sequence in which Christie goes to a Chinese exorcist, who by the waynis played by James Hong. Yup, that James Hong! He who played ‘Lo Pan’ in BignTrouble in Little China (1986)! So anyways, after they tie Christie up,nsuddenly the ninja inside of her awakens and makes her go all Linda Blair on us;nyou got to see it to believe it people! Essentially, this movie is the classic “sonbad it’s good” film. Scratch that, it’s the quintessential so bad it’s good film. What I’mntalking about here folks is a film that is so bad you won’t believe your eyes.nEver seen a movie like that? I’ve seen tons of them, but for your own benefitnmy dear readers, if you ever want to have a fantastic night watching bad moviesnlike this one, then I also recommend you check out Blood Diner (1987), Troll 2n(1990) and Creatures from the Abyss (1994). My god, those films will melt yournface right off! Ninja III: The Domination (1984) is on a whole other level,nsure it’s bad, but honestly, you won’t be able to stop watching. It’snaddictive. Cannon Films, I salute you guys, you never cease to amaze me.

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nRating: 3 out of 5

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