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nTitle: Millenium (1989)
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nDirector: Michael Anderson
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nCast: Kris Kristofferson, Cheryl Ladd, Robert Joy
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nMillenium is a post-apocalyptic science fiction film about anfuture in which the human race is dying because they’ve lost the ability tonreproduce. Apparently there is so much toxic waste in the air that it’s notneven breathable. But wait! There’s still hope! The world might be messed upnbeyond repair, yet these crafty dudes from the future have somehow managed tonperfect time travel technology! Their solution to earths population problem isnto steal people from the past moments before they are about to die, then theyntake them to the future so they can start repopulating the earth. The problem comesnwhen these time travelers get clumsy and leave weapons and gadgets behind inntime; you see, leaving things from the future in the past can create deadlynworld destroying paradoxes! Will the future people manage to recuperate theirngadgets before a paradox occurs that will destroy their world?
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nThe good thing about Millenium is that it’s a film with anninteresting premise. It pulls you in with its mystery around the whole timentravel element. The whole premise about a decrepit, decaying future wasninteresting. In this future, the air is so polluted that these guys have to smokenspecial cigarettes that keep them alive! Their skins are decaying, even robotsnare rusting away; to me that was a cool concept, everything looks old andnputrid. Unfortunately, the film decides to turn into a soap opera of sorts,nwith Kris Kristofferson’s Bill Smith falling in love with Louise Baltimore, thengirl from the future. Suddenly, it’s a love story about Bill and Louise hittingnon each other, those silly awkward moments on a first date and finally, Billnseducing Louise. At heart I guess that Millenium is really more of a love story;nwhich makes perfect sense when we take in consideration that these futurenpeople can’t reproduce, and they live in such a dreadful future with nonapparent hope in sight. So I guess you should be ready for a film that places itsnemphasis mostly on the love side of things.
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nBut the sci-fi angle is not to be ignored. We get peoplengoing through shiny blue time portals, robots that serve as peoples consciencesnand ancient people who can survive only by living inside of life supporting tubes!nWe get to see crying robots! Time paradoxes that cause earthquakes andncharacters that say the cheesiest lines on the planet! Yeah, let’s get thatnstraight, this film might get a laugh or two from you at times, characters justntalk in the silliest ways and do the silliest things. For example, the futurenis decayed, everyone is sick and dying yet the time traveling girls apparentlynhave the time to put on make up and get perms! The world might be dying butnLouise Baltimore is going down in style! Ha! It’s hilarious! When she goes to earth,nshe looks like a stewardess, but when she goes to her world, suddenly Bam! hernhair is like a freaking 80’s hair band! It’s pretty funny; it looks so out ofnplace! Another funny thing, every timenthey finish smoking one of their healthy cigarettes, they don’t have to worrynabout an ashtray because a lazer beam comes out of nowhere and disintegratesnthe cigarette! Ha! No need for ashtrays on this future! On this future we havencigarette disintegrating lazer beams! Just imagine the logistics behind thatnidea!
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nEven funnier is the fact that the whole time traveling setnup is run by a guy on a wheel chair that looks like a zombie! Everyone standingnaround looks more adequate for the job than this guy who looks like he has onenfoot in the grave; want more funny? Okay here it goes, they can see the pastnlike a movie, on a little t.v. screen! They have walky-talkies with which they canncommunicate through time! This means somebody that is in the past can actually talknwith someone from the future! So we have audio waves that travel through timenas well! Ha! There is this really funny sequence in which Louise travels backnto the future, and after she walks through the time portal, an invisible forcenfixes the bed of the hotel she was staying in, because you know, it’s notnpolite to leave a room untidy after time travel! Point is, there are a lot of goofynsituations and plot holes on this one; you can have fun simply by going throughnthem as you watch the film.
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nMillenium is a film that resembles many others that camenbefore and after it. The one it resembles the most is James Cameron’s ThenTerminator (1984). There’s the time travel angle, there’s the love storynbetween someone from the past and someone from the future. If you look at it,nThe Terminator is also a love story at heart. Millenium also reminded me ofnAlfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men (2006) because of the whole thing aboutnhumanity loosing the ability to procreate; though in reality, this is anrecurring theme in post apocalyptic films. It has the quintessential sequencenin which someone has to explain the whole logic of time travel, ala Doc Brownnin Back to the Future II (1989) which strangely enough was released in the samenyear, only with far superior visual effects. I guess, even for it’s time,nMillenium’s production values where kind of low and goofy. Visual effects wise,nMillenium seems to have stayed back in time; which could explain the films lownbox office intake. Speaking bluntly the film was a box office bomb.
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nThis was a production that spent a good amount of time inndevelopment hell. The project had been making it’s rounds in Hollywood Logan
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nRating 2 ½ out of 5
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