Manipulating Parents
Have you noticed how kids sometimes play moms and dads against each other. How to keep your kids from playing mom and dad against each other is an issue which involves many thought-provoking questions. One of the causes is children need to be loved and disciplined by both parents; not by one over the other. Avoiding the inevitable tug-of-war resulting from manipulating parents becomes the problem at hand.
When mom and dad are angry; children can sense it. If the child senses mom is becoming upset by dad, the child will immediately take sides and use it later as a way of getting what they want. Try not to become manipulating parents by involving your kids in an argument between you and your spouse. Children should not have to take sides, and need to know they are loved by both of you.
Raising kids to understand rules are set by both parents is the key. In this way, they cannot use any method to further favoritism. However, without realizing it, manipulating parents use kids as emotional support, or to further their own needs; or particularly in divorce cases where the child is torn, thus using this as a means to garner more attention.
Discipline goes a long way to ensure that children recognize they are loved, especially when disciplined. They should never be used as pawns by manipulating parents. A unified stand should be agreed upon when making decisions that affect the child. If your kids want to do something in particular, and you are against it; but your spouse is for it – this can be the beginning of the tug-of-war syndrome. Conversely, if you both sit down with your kids and discuss the matter; and give your answer jointly, your kids will understand they will not be able to play one parent against the other to incur the desired results.
Sometimes kids will try to manipulate you into getting what they want. This is manipulating parents in reverse. The power should be in your hands, not the kids. They must abide by the rules you set forth, without compromising the harmony within the family. Raising kids is difficult enough without having to worry about sides. There are no sides in a family. As parents, you must present a loving and cohesive environment for your kids. Without this foundation, the house cannot stand. Manipulating parents breed manipulating children.
