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Freddy Krueger: An Unauthorized Biography or "Why is Freddy so messed up?"

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nFreddy Krueger has had one ass backwards messed up life! It’s not much of a surprise that he’s ended up being such a nut case. Each Nightmare on Elm Street  film has given us little bit of Freddy’s back story through a series of brief flashbacks, but they have never given us the whole story in what we might call a linear fashion . Since every writer/director that’s worked on this franchise wants to add a little more to the story, and a more messed up angle to spice up their film, the amalgamation of all those additions has resulted in what we now know as Freddy Krueger’s messed up life story! Since The Film Connoisseur doesn’t want to get left out on the whole Freddy Krueger craze, I decided to do a blog post on Freddy Krueger’s life story. Chronologically! In seven chapters! And with pictures!

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nCHAPTER 1

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n“SON OF A THOUSAND MANIACS!”

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nFreddy’s conception

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nOne of the most disturbing parts of Freddy Krueger’s background is his conception. That moment when a males sperm reaches a female egg and voila! Life begins! In Freddy’s case, his mom (Amanda Krueger) was a nun, who renamed herself Sister Mary Helena when she gave herself to the church. If that isn’t fucked up enough, she works in an insane asylum. One fine day, while she is working in the tower of the insane asylum, where the most dangerous crazies are kept, the asylum personnel forgets that she is working inside, and she gets locked up with a healthy group of homicidal maniacs! Now, these guys might be complete whack jobs, but their libidos are still working over time! Which is why they collectively decide to rape Amanda Krueger. And so, Freddy Krueger was conceived! This is the reason why his own mother calls Freddy “bastard son of a thousand maniacs!”. It gets worse. Amanda Krueger actually ends up rasing Freddy but is later horrified at the fact that he turns out to be a child killer/rapist! When Freddy is sent to court and prosecuted by the Elm Street parents, she hangs herself when he is let go on a technicality! Bummer huh?

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nCHAPTER 2

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n“YOU’VE BEEN A WASTE SINCE THE DAY I TOOK YOU IN!”

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nFreddy’s childhood upbringing.

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nSo, Freddy is left without a family. His mother hung herself, and his father, well, who the hell knows who he was. It could have been any of the maniacs in the insane asylum. Actually, you can get a glimpse of the maniac who’s lucky sperm impregnated Amanda Krueger’s during a dream sequence on Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child.

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nSo anyhows, Freddy is adopted by a man who looks like Alice Cooper. Oh wait, it is Alice Cooper! I always thought it was hilarious how Freddy Krueger’s step dad was played by the legendary rock singer.

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nBut anyhow, Freddy’s legal guardian enjoys saying nice things to Freddy like “You’ve been a waste since they day I took you in! Now its time to take your medicine!” after saying those wonderfully inspiring words to Freddy, he begins to whip him mercilessly with a belt! Freddy cant cope with his disturbing family life, so he begins to act rather strangely in school. For example, at one point, he takes the class pet hamster and begins to smash it to death with a sledge hammer! His school mates see his strange behavior and begin to call him “son of a hundred maniacs, son of a hundred maniacs!” I guess, word spreads around town rather easily when you are the offspring of a nun and a looney from the insane asylum.

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nCHAPTER 3

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n“THANK YOU SIR! MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?”

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nFreddy as a teenager

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nAfter a while, Freddy gets used to the constant abuse from his step father. So much so that when his father whips him with a belt, he doesn’t feel it any more! Actually, he begins to like it! As his step father whips him over and over again, he says “Thank You Sir! May I have another?” His step father continues to whip him and then he says “You want to know the secret of pain? If you stop feeling it, you can start using it!” And then he proceeds to kill his own step father with a razorblade. Touching. And in 3-D no less! Poor Alice Cooper!

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nCHAPTER 4

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n“THIS IS WHERE THEY TOOK AWAY HIS CHILD. TAKEN AWAY, PUT IN A TOWN ORPHANAGE”

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nFreddy as a husband and a dad

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nSo, somehow, in spite of the shit storm of a childhood that Freddy Krueger endured, he ends up getting married and becoming a dad! He has a little daughter by the name of Maggie. It looks like Freddy has finally found happiness in family life. He has a wife, a child, and a home with a white picket fence. But wait, apparently Freddy’s pent up anger wont stay hidden for long! He secretly abuses and murders children in his own home town! He has a dungeon beneath his home where he burns the bodies of the little kids that he kills! Soon, his wife finds out and to keep his secret safe, he ends up strangling his wife to death right in front of Maggie’s 6 year old eyes! Freddy makes Maggie promise to keep the secret to herself, but Maggie can’t keep this secret for too long! She ends up telling on her dad and so Freddy is taken away by the autorities for trial. Freddy’s daughter, Maggie ends up raised in an orphanage for sometime, just like her daddy. I guess it’s true what they say “history repeats itself!”

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nCHAPTER 5

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n“WELL, THE LAWYERS GOT FAT, AND THE JUDGE GOT FAMOUS, BUT SOMEBODY FORGOT TO SIGN THE SEARCH WARRANT IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND KRUEGER WAS FREE, JUST LIKE THAT”

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nFreddy goes to court

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nFreddy’s murder of the Elm Street kids got him taken to jail and sent to trial. It was at this time that he was known as ‘The Springwood Slasher’, because the children he killed all lived in the town of Springwood, where he too resided. Reports say that he killed at least 20 kids in the neighborhood. Sadly, Freddy was actually set free because he was not read his Miranda Rights by the cops who brought him in! So The Springwood Slasher was set free again on a technicality! When he’s mother, Amanda Krueger learned this, she hung herself in shame. 

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nCHAPTER 6

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n“IT DROVE US CRAZY WHEN WE DIDN’T KNOW WHO IT WAS, BUT IT WAS WORSE AFTER THEY CAUGHT HIM!”

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nFreddy gets burned alive

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nSo, the parents of the children who had died (basically Freddy’s neighbors) decide to take justice into their own hands and decide to burn him alive! Which they do by tossing Molotov cocktails through the windows of his home. That is, if we are talking about that flashback sequence in Freddy’s Dead. If we look at this moment in Freddy’s life on the short lived Freddy’s Nightmares T.V. show, Freddy actually gets caught by the parents and some cops in his boiler room. He taunts a cop, telling him that he likes his little daughter, and that he is going to finish what he started with her. Thats when they decide to pour gasoline all over Freddy and light him up! Freddy burns and screams: “Ill be baaaack! Im freee! Freeee!” 

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nCHAPTER 7

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n“I WANT IT ALL!”

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nFreddy gets visited by the dream demons

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nAs Freddy begins to burn alive, mere moments before his death, three dream demons appear before him and offer him the power to control the dreams of humans. Just what the hell is a dream demon? I don’t know, but they exist in the Nightmare on Elm Street universe, and they are the ones who give Freddy his power. “We know what you want Freddy!” and Freddy’s like “I want it all!” and they go “Of course you do, then open up, and you shall be foreveeeer!” Why did these dream demons choose Freddy? Because that’s what dream demons do, they “look for the most evil, twisted human imaginable. Then they give him the power to cross the line and turn our nightmares into reality.”

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nAfter receiving the power from the dream demons, its Freddy’s chance for revenge. And so, the first film begins, with Freddy in complete control of his reality/dream altering powers. He goes after the children of the parents who tried to kill him. Why not go for the parents themselves? The ones who burned him alive? I don’t know, I guess it’s more fun to get their children instead, cause that’s what Freddy does best!

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nSo that’s it ladies and gents, the full history of Freddy Kruger. This time line adheres itself to the logic set by the first batch of Freddy movies. These include:

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nNightmare on Elm Street

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nNightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

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nNightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors

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nNightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

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nNightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

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nFreddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

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nWes Craven’s New Nightmare

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nFreddy’s Nightmares (TV Series)  

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nThe upcoming remake might change a thing or two about Freddy’s back story, but as far as I know, this is what those brilliant writers and directors from the 80s and 90s came up with to entertain teens across the world with. Gotta say, this isn’t a bad bunch of movies. The first three pretty much treated Freddy as a scary character…until the Dream Master came along and turned Freddy into a one-liner spewing, one man comedy show. I mean, from Dream Master onwards, we’ve had the pleasure of seeing all sorts of comedic variations on Freddy Kruger. We had Beach going Freddy, Meatball eating Freddy, Super Freddy, Kung Fu Freddy, Chef Freddy, Nurse Freddy…but whatever. I love these movies exactly for what they are. Fun, entertaining horror movies from the 80’s. Gotta love ‘em!
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See also  Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983) Movie Review, Cast & Crew, Film Summary

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