Entrails of a Beautiful Woman (Kazuo Komizu, 1986)

nPreparing to engage in mock disbelief in correlation with yet another generous serving of Japanese weirdness from the perspective of a feckless gaikokujin in 3, 2, 1, go! Wow, they sure do make some odd movies in Japan, don’t they? All right, now that I got that out of the way, I can continue typing words about Entrails of a Beautiful Woman in a calm, face-palm inducing, highly irrational manner. What’s that? You want to know what I was getting at with that opening line? Well, that was my not-so subtle way of dismissing the folks who belittle Japanese cinema by calling it strange or bizarre. Though, I have to admit, when the inside out flesh monster penis bursts from the stomach of a drug-addled gangster’s moll, I did mumble to myself: What the fuck, Japan. I know, that’s such a white person thing to do, but I can’t help it. On the bright side, the drug-addled gangster’s moll did cordially invite the inside out flesh monster penis to enter her aching vagina. Which is something you don’t see that often in Japanese cinema. (You got that right, an inside out flesh monster penis is a bit of rarity no matter where you go.) Oh, no, I wasn’t talking about the inside out flesh monster penis, I was referring to the cordial invite. (Huh?) What I mean is, sexual intercourse between consenting adults, whether their genitals be smooth to the touch or bumpy as fuck, is an uncommon sight in Japanese cinema.

nI’m not saying every sex scene in Japanese cinema is rape. It’s just that I’ve noticed that even the so-called consensual sex scenes have an air of rape about them. Actually, now that I think about it, the drug-addled gangster’s moll wasn’t really planning on having sex with the openly gregarious penis attached to an inside out flesh monster when the evening began, it was literally shoved in her face, and like any insane individual, she chose to lick it up and down like it were candy cane.
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nOf course, given that her vagina is always aching (her Yakuza boyfriend is impotent), the drug-addled gangster’s moll sees the inside out, slightly duck-billed penis as an unexpected blessing in disguise. In her defense, she didn’t know it would come crashing through her abdomen moments after the traditional prodding had gotten underway, so, you can’t really blame her for excepting this munificent helping of outre cock.

n(Um, hello? I can blame her. It should go without saying, but people who allow giant penises with toothy urethras to enter their bodies shouldn’t be surprised when said penises start creating their own holes. I mean, they’re semi-sentient cocks with teeth, it’s what they do, man.)

nYeah, but her Yakuza boss boyfriend can’t get an erection. (That’s no excuse for treating your vagina like an amusement park ride.) I don’t get that analogy. (Okay, let’s say your girl penis is a merry-go-round, you don’t want millions of strangers straddling it for hours on end, you want to be more selective.) I think I know what you mean.
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nAre you aware that the reason the penis being swung about with malice in this film appears to be inside out is because it’s actually a vagina? (You mean it’s a prolapsed vagina masquerading as a cock.) I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but that’s exactly what I’m saying.

nHow does this prolapsed vagina masquerading as a cock come to be? Well, it all starts in the rape warehouse belonging to the Ichiyama Clan, a Yakuza affiliated gang of dope pushers and slave traders. When their leader injects a young woman named Yoshimi (Siera Kitagawa) with latest his product (a drug called “Angel Rain”) during a lull in her gang rape, she suddenly becomes addicted to sex. Of course, since their leader can’t get hard, he leaves the fucking to his four henchmen, well, three henchmen, Higashi simply lures the woman to the rape warehouse.

nIt turns out, leaving Hiromoto and Takiguchi in charge of watching Yoshimi was a bit of a mistake, as she takes off running the second they let their guard down. Bleeding from her vagina, Yoshimi staggers around for awhile. She eventually collapses in front of the door belonging to the “Aquarium Clinic.” And after hearing someone staggering outside, Dr. Hiromi (Megumi Ozawa) rushes to help the wayward former sex slave turned drug addict.

nNeeding her Angel Rain fix like something fierce, Yoshimi decides to jump to her death. However, before she jumps, Yoshimi tells Hiromi everything that happened to her.

nWhile sitting on her exam table in a manner that allows her admire her white stocking ensnared feet with a relaxed ease, Hiromi gets the idea to avenge Yoshimi’s death. And who do you think she holds responsible for Yoshimi’s death? That’s right, the Ichiyama Clan. But she also blames herself, as she thinks she could have done a better job helping Yoshimi.

nMeanwhile, the Ichiyama Clan boss is watching his girlfriend writhe around on the floor in a veiled attempt to achieve an orgasm. It’s true, he still can’t get an erection (his girlfriend’s blow job is basically nothing but a never-ending mouth bath), but he’s relaxed in the knowledge that Yoshimi’s death hasn’t been tied to his gang yet.

nRemember how I said Higashi is the one who lures women to the gang’s rape warehouse in order to be turned into sex slaves? Well, that’s where Hiromi begins her campaign to avenge Yoshimi’s death. Tracking him down at a local bar, Hiromi manges to get Higashi’s attention rather easily. Which is no surprise, since Hiromi is quite attractive.
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nOne thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, Higashi is showering Hiromi’s nipples with kisses on her exam table. You’ll notice that Hiromi is wearing a black garter belt as Higashi is kissing her nipples. (Yeah, so?) Um, where are her black stockings? (Oh, yeah, I can see how that might annoy you. So, what are you going to do now?) I’ll continue to watch the movie, but this better not happen again. Hypnotizing him while giving him a handjob, Hiromi manages to not only extract information from him, but she plants messages in his head. The most important one being, she instructs Higashi to stab his fellow Yakauza.

nThe way she smeared cum over her mouth immediately after Higashi ejaculated was pure genius, as it fooled him into thinking she gave him a blow job, when we all know she merely gave him a handy. (I don’t get it?) Don’t you see, Hiromi has power over Higashi. Meaning, he’ll be more inclined to do her bidding now that he knows that his penis has been in her mouth. Trust me, it was genius move on her part.

nWhat wasn’t a genius move was Hiromi’s assumption that Higashi’s knife attack would go smoothly. Sure, he manages to cut one of the members of the Ichiyama Clan with a knife, but her attempt to exact revenge on the Ichiyama Clan via Higashi ultimately ends in failure. After the gangsters force Higashi into telling them who put him up to the seemingly impromptu knife attack, they turn their attention to Hiromi.
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nAnd you know what that means? (Uh, rape, drugs, forced confinement and more rape.) Well, yeah, but I was thinking, shapely lady doctor legs encased in white stockings and prolapsed vagina cocks with teeth. (You would think that, wouldn’t you.) Hey, don’t you dare make me feel ashamed about what I think.

nWe get a brief overhead shot of Hiromi’s lifeless body is resting on a mattress in the Ichiyama Clan’s rape warehouse. Let’s savour it, shall we? Can you see what I can see? (You mean the top of Hiromi’s white stockings?) Nicely done, you’ll be a pervert soon.
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n(Speaking of seeing stuff, is that a tuft of pubic hair in Hiromi’s mouth?) Good eye. Yeah, it totally is. As Hiromoto and Takiguchi are about to… no, wait, as Yoshioka is anally raping Hiromi, the impotent gangster gangster’s moll decides she wants a piece of the action. Since Hiromi’s backside is currently being stuffed with Yosjioka’s penis, the gangster’s moll, who is wearing white stockings with red trim and knee-high boots, elects to place her crotch near Hiromi’s mouth. Which turns out to be an error in judgment on her part, as Hiromi takes a big bite out of her pussy moments after it’s shoved in her face.

n(I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that these gangsters are going to suffer terribly for the crimes they have perpetrated throughout this movie.) You can say that again. I mean, an inside out flesh monster with a prolapsed vagina cock with teeth is about to pay each of them a visit. So, yeah. (Wait, you haven’t said if you like the movie or not. I haven’t?) Well, if I write this much about a movie, it usually means that I liked it. (Good to know.)