Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

nElvira Mistress of the Dark (1988)

nDirector: James Signorelli

nCast: Cassandra Peterson, Edie McClurg, William Morgan Sheppard

nOn Halloween night I usually watch a couple of horror moviesn(doesn’t everybody?) and for some reason, I always end up going with somethingnfrom the 80’s on Halloween night. I guess cheese goes perfectly with Halloweennand so I went with Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988). I’m a big fan of Elviranbecause she’s all about the spooky stuff, the horror movies and coolest part ofnall; she lives in an eternal Halloween. She’s made a career out of making funnof bad horror movies via her television show ‘Elvira’s Movie Macabre’, wherenshe screened horror and science fiction films and in between the commercialsnand the movies, she made fun of cheesy films like The Giant Claw (1957). Hernpopularity grew to the point where she got her big break in Hollywood with thenrelease of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988). How was Elvira’s firstncinematic venture?

nThe film starts out with Elvira getting fired from herntelevision show because she wouldn’t screw the owner of the television station.nTo Elvira’s surprise, she’s just inherited a mansion, a cook book and a ring!nShe’s kind of happy about the whole thing because she now has a home, but she’sndisappointed she didn’t inherit any big bucks, just some silly book and a ring.nProblems arise when she realizes that the house she’s inherited is in a townnfilled with a bunch of self righteous, upright idiots who live with an eternalnstick up their asses. Basically, the town is populated by a bunch of folks whondon’t know the first thing about cutting lose or having fun. It’s kind of likenthat town in Footloose (1984), where the religious zealots didn’t want to letntheir kids cut loose and dance? Something like that. Not only that, they alsondon’t want Elvira to stay because they are afraid that she might corrupt theirnsouls or whatever. So basically, the teens befriend Elvira and see her as theirnmentor in the ways of fun, while the adults think she’s the daughter of Satan,nready to corrupt the souls of their younglings. What’s Elvira to do? Pack andngo, or stay and deal with the situation?

nSince in real life Elvira is a horror connoisseur and shenhelped write the script, Mistress of the Dark is a mish-mash of a zillionnmovies that she’s fond of like Frankenstein (1931), Black Sunday (1960) and The Evil Dead (1981). Actually, this film is a lot like an episode of The AddamsnFamily or The Munsters because it has that dynamic in which “regular” folk gonnuts when they are confronted with an unorthodox lifestyle, and to the puritansnwho live in Elvira’s town, Elvira is as unorthodox as they get. How much isnthis film like The Munsters? Well, the house that Elvira inherits in the filmnis the actual house used for that show! So anyways, as you can see, this filmsninfluences are all over the place. In fact, the film is an amalgamation of anzillion visual gags and jokes that are thrown to us at a frenetic pace. We getnshape shifting dogs, demonic priests, magical books, a Flashdance (1983) tribute,nkiller high heels, exploding gas stations, a monster casserole and more shots ofnCassandra Peterson’s breasts than you can shake your stick at! It’s all donenwith that delicious b-movie flavor; that irreverent tone in which nothing is tonbe taken seriously, which works like magic. There’s also lots of self deprecatingnhumor, Elvira has no problem with making fun of herself. Then there’s thendouble entendre humor which is none stop.

nCritics burned this movie at the stake calling it dumb andnstupid, but honestly, what the hell where they expecting? Did they even have annidea of what Elvira was all about? Elvira is all about silly, stupid “low brow”nentertainment, she’s queen of the b-movies and she carries her crown well.nElvira is one in a line of spooky Hollywood ladies that have defied what isnexpected of women, and broken the barriers of prudence. First there was ThedanBara, an actress from the silent era of filmmaking, she was famous fornportraying a vampire lady christened “The Vamp”. Theda Bara appeared in many films,nsadly most of them were lost in a Fox Studio fire. Then came Maila Nurmi,na.k.a. ‘Vampira’. Murni went to a Halloween party dressed as Morticia Addamsnfrom Charles Addam’s The Addams Family comic strip; she impressed a producernwith her Morticia inspired Halloween costume so much that she was given thenopportunity to become the first television horror show host in history and so, then‘Vampira Show’ premiered. Elvira was Vampira’s follow up. Actually, Elvira wasnborn when an L.A. television station decided to revive a horror show called ‘FrightnNight’. They tapped Vampira for the gig but her deal didn’t happen, so they didna casting call and Cassandra Peterson showed up and won the part. She was givennthe opportunity to create her image, so she came up with the punk rock, sexynvixen deal she still portrays. And that’s how Elvira was born.

nCassandra Peterson has appeared in a few films, for examplenshe appeared in Federico Fellini’s Roma (1973), probably because of Fellini’snfixation on voluptuous women. She also did a cameo on Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (1988),nbut Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) was her only theatrical release asnElvira. The film wasn’t a box office success, but it has gone on to become ancult film, garnering fans through the years. There was a second Elvira film,nbut that film is awful, so awful that I wasn’t even able to muster thenstrengths to write anything about it. Jokes fall flat, sets look ultra cheap…it’sna total embarrassment. So just stick to Mistress of the Dark, because Elvira’snHaunted Hills (2001) is a real stinker, and this comes from an Elvira fan. Mistressnof the Dark was directed by James Signorelli a director who was probably chosennto direct this because of his comedic experience in directing and producingnmany Saturday Night Live episodes, actually, he’s still directing SNL as Inwrite this. Signorelli also directed Easy Money (1983) with Rodney Dangerfield,nso this film has its comedic background, mix that comedic experience withnElvira’s charismatic personality and you got yourself an enjoyable cheesy flick,nperfect for watching on Halloween night.

nRating: 3 out of 5