Cecilia (Jess Franco, 1982)

The lush, dewy landscape of Sintra, Portugaln provides the backdrop for one of the steamiest journeys into the nforbidden realm of strappy heeled eroticism that I have ever seen. Wow. In had no idea you had seen that much strappy heeled eroticism; so much nso, that you’re able to elevate certain cinematic works to heightened nlevels of loftiness based solely on their ability to induce a generous nhelping of steam. It’s true, I haven’t; seen enough films that feature nstrappy heels in a lush and/or dewy setting to be able to confidently nsingle out its many steam-based blessings. However, if I had, I’m sure nJess Franco’s Cecilian (a.k.a. Aberraciones Sexuales de una Mujer Casada) would be near the ntop of the list, as this film oozes verdancy and legginess nsimultaneously. The former is provided by the aforementioned location, nwhich is exploited to the point where the film could be classified a weird nform of botanical pornography (people who love plant life, and the nnatural world in general, will adore the many close-up shots of novergrown greenery and blooming flowers). And, of course, the latter is nsupplied by the many pairs of strappy heels worn throughout the film, asn the heels–the strappier, the better–intensify the innate beauty of the nlegs they’re attached to. In reality, though, the gorgeous Muriel Montossé doesn’t really need to have any of her curves exaggerated, as she’s a nwork of curvy art all on her own. Piercing the humid air of her ornate nsurroundings with a crotch altering aplomb, Cecilia wants to feel neverything the world has to offer when it comes to oblique objects nrubbing up against her supple flesh. Whether it be fresh cut flowers, nlily pads, troglodytic low-lifes, garter belts, or drunken bar patrons, nCecilia needs to feel their touch on a regular basis. Without it, well, nyou’ll be looking at one unhappy camper. Which reminds me. If Cecilia nwere to go on a camping trip, all she would need to survive is her ninsatiable desire to be groped and a pair of strappy heels. If you thinkn I’m joking, listen to what one of the rapists utters as he and his nnot-so merry band of fellow rapists are chasing Cecilia through the nforest in the latter half of the film. He says something to the effect nof: “How is she able to run so fast in high heels?”

nOh, stupid rapist. Your need to violate the personal space of others hasn obviously warped your ability to think objectively. Anyone with any nsense can clearly see that Cecilia has been running in strappy high nheels for most of her life. It doesn’t matter if she’s sleeping, nswimming, bathing, horse back riding, seducing monobrowed chauffeurs, orn fleeing the grabbing hands of undesirable creatures like you, the nthickness of Cecilia’s calves are always in the process of being naccentuated to the point of shapely madness by a pair of strappy high heels.
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nThe sight of flowers blooming and trees swaying in the wind set to the nsound of birds chirping and synths…synthing, can mean only one thing: an Jess Francon film is about to commence. And I don’t need to tell you that the words n”A Jess Franco Film” are one of the few things left that bring me joy inn this world. Whenever I see his name, or, as is in most cases, one of nhis many pseudonyms, appear on-screen, a wave of comfort washes over me,n as I know my brain and genitals are in the hands of a master. Zooming nin on the breathtaking beauty of the film’s natural splendour for an extended nperiod of time, when suddenly, shots of statues begin to enter the nframe. Was this Jess Franco’s way of informing us that humanity (the nones who made the statues) and nature (the ones who made the flowers andn trees) co-exist with one another? Who knows. What I do know is that nwe’re about to meet Cecilia (Muriel Montossé) and I can hardly contain my excitement.
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nWearing a pink dress, the kind that looks like it was specifically ndesigned to be pulled off in a hurry, Cecilia runs towards her nlimousine, greets her driver Kam (José Valero),n and proceeds to get in the back. And wouldn’t you know, Cecilia, after nputting up the divider window, takes off her pink dress like it weren’t neven there. Lounging in a position that was clearly chosen to maximize nher innate legginess, Cecilia caresses the contours of her legs in an nerotic manner. In order to indicate how long Cece’s legs are, more hair nis added to Kam’s unibrow each time we see it in the rear view mirror. nWhat I’m trying to say is: it takes so long for her to run her hand fromn one end of her leg to the other, that his eyebrows seem to become nthicker and bushier between each leg stroke. And as far as using nirregular eyebrow hair to signify leg length, I thought the scene was ann unequivocal success.

nRealizing that Kam is taking her away from her house (he’s supposed to nbe driving her home), Cecilia makes her objection known. But it’s too nlate, Kam tells her that he’s quitting, stops the car, and let’s his nbrothers (who were lurking in the woods) ravish her in the back seat. nStruggling at first, Cecilia seems to be moaning with pleasure by the ntime the partially clothed humping starts. After washing the sex smell nfrom her body in a pond covered with lily pads, Cecilia drives the nlimousine (remember, her driver quit) back to the spacious mansion she nshares with her husband Andre (Antonio Mayans)n and their male staff (who all wear headbands for some reason). The nscene where Cecelia gets out the limo completely naked, except, of ncourse, for a pair of pink strappy heels, is important because it gives nus our first view of Muriel Montossé standing upright without any nclothes on.

nMaking her way towards the house, the sight of Muriel walking in nothingn but strappy heels was simply glorious. Seriously, the manner in which nher sturdy legs pounded against the crude concrete walkway was unreal. nAs she was walking, I couldn’t help but notice that each step caused hern ample backside to undulate in a way that was both pleasing and nawe-inspiring. Now, given the thundering display we just witnessed, I nfound it a tad strange that Andre felt it necessary to carry Cecilia then rest of the way. I mean, didn’t he just see the calve-tightening clinicn that just transpired before him on the walkway? Either way, Andre ncarries Cecilia inside, puts her on the bed, and, after disrobing, nplaces the quivering contents located on the other side of his hirsute nhindquarters between her creamy thighs.
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nThe next morning, Andre is upset when he finds out what Kam’s brothers ndid to his wife in the backseat of his limo. Out on a terrace noverlooking their magnificent garden, Cecilia paces back and forth whilen she listens to Andre complain about her whorish lifestyle. Wearing a nconical hat, a black and white Asian-style shirt dress, and a pair of nwhite strappy heels (the perfect ensemble for pacing in a mist-laden nparadise as a saxophone gently toots in the background), Cecilia tries nto explain that she needs to have rough sex with other men. (Did anyone nelse notice that her pink lipstick matched the petunias?)
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nIt should be noted that a flashback to when Cecilia and Andre first met ntwo years ago at a Parisian party occurs during a lull in the their nconversation on the terrace. Sure, it doesn’t give us any fresh insight ninto the genesis of their relationship–they’re introduced by her uncle (Olivier Mathot) and an attractive woman in orange (France Lomay),n and appear to like each other almost immediately–but we do get to see nthe largeness of Muriel Montossé’s bum ensnared in a slit-heavy black nand white dress.

nJudging by the way Andre snubs Cecilia after they return from horseback nriding, it would that he’s still upset over the backseat limo rape. nDetermined to convince her husband that sex is different than love, she nconcocts a cheeky scheme involving her friend Antonio (Antonio de Cabo),n an older gentlemen Cecilia calls her “grandmother,” and Antonio’s nunnamed girlfriend (Ana Paula), an afro-sporting goddess with Uhurian nthighs. The idea is for Antonio’s girl to seduce Andre while Cecilia is nputting her “grandmother” to bed. And you know Cecilia means business by nthe fact that she’s wearing a blonde bob wig and has sprinkled glitter nall over his chest and shoulders. Anyway, deliberately catching them in nthe act, Cecilia, who is still rocking the pink lipstick (her nfingernails, by the way, are pink as well), shows up naked at their doorn and eventually takes over for Antonio’s girlfriend as the primary nsource for Andre’s corporal pleasure (her white strappy heeled feet kickn the air like an agitated mule as he bombards her pelvic area with a ngenerous helping of tempur pedict thrusts).
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nStarting off the film as merely his wife, Cecilia is now Andre’s nmistress and confidante. Yep, it appears that her plan has worked, as nshe finds that Andre is getting into this whole open marriage thing. A nclose up shot of a lump-free crotch encased in a pair of white bikini nbottoms can only mean one thing, it’s time for Lina Romay make her presence felt in the Cecilian universe. Sunning herself on the deck of a sail boat, Lina plays a ncabaret performer whose act involves having sex with her teenage son. nLying motionless as the sun’s rays pierce her exquisite curves, Lina nhalf listens to Cecilia (whose stunning frame is sheathed in a black none-piece bathing suit) and Andre as they blather on and on about their nrelationship (“our love will only grow stronger”).
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nWhen they’re back on dry land, Lina and her son George (Antonio Vasco)n give Cecilia, Andre, Antonio, and Antonio’s girlfriend a sneak preview nof their incestuous stage show. Swaying her hips in a pink full length ngown as she stands before her son (whose eyelids, by the way, have been npainted with dots that make him look like his eyes are open when they are in fact closed), Lina proceeds to suck his thumb as some dude wearing an blindfold plays a rudimentary harp. Eventually working her way down to nhis penis (removing her clothing along the way), Lina ends the show by nwrithing naked on the shag carpeting. Which, in case you don’t know, is nher subtle way inviting the audience, which, of course, includes nCecilia, who’s wearing a leopard print headband, to mock feast on the nmoist folds of her well-rounded flesh.

nFans of France Lomay (Oasis of the Zombies)n will want to stick around for the swanky party scene that takes place nat the exact same location where Cecilia and Andre first met. Why? Well,n if you loved the sight of France schmoozing in an orange dress, you’ll ndefinitely want to see her schmooze in a pink dress. This particular nparty scene, the one where France wears a pink dress, is also worth nchecking out for the moment when an author tells a group of hangers-on nthat her novel “Neither Virgin nor Martyr” was inspired by her first nabortion.
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nYou can’t help but be impressed by Muriel Montossén as the titular Cecilia, as every gesture she makes is steeped in neroticism. This movement themed saturation hits its boiling point when nshe finds herself all alone in the house. When smelling flowers in nnothing but strappy heels starts to lose its appeal, she takes a bath. nWhile staring out the window in a nightie and a pair of, it should, by nnow, go without saying, strappy heels, the phone rings. It’s Andre, and napparently he’s going to be busy for the next couple of days. How much nlonger do you expect Cecilia to wander the corridors of her spacious nmansion? Are you asking me? If you are, I have to say, I could watch nMuriel Montossé do pretty much anything for an inordinate amount of ntime.

nTired of waiting for her waiting for her husband to come home, Cecilia ndecides that she needs some cock. Who am I kidding? She needs lots of ncock, and finds it waiting for her at a cave-like structure where Kam’s nbrothers hang out. The first thing that shocked me about this scene, nwhich we’ll call, “Cecilia’s Impromptu Cave Gangbang,” was that she woren black pumps for the occasion. That’s right, she’s put the strappy heelsn away. I guess she figured that the strappy heels wouldn’t really go nwith her black stockings (wrong as she may be, I respect her ndecision). At any rate, she gets up on the table, and removes her ruffled nprom dress to reveal a black garter belt, which is digging into her nchild-bearing hips like you wouldn’t believe. Kicking away her dress in nan authoritative manner, Cecilia invites Kam’s two brothers and their ntwo friends have their way with her.

nSatisfied by how the gangbang turned out, Cecilia decides to treat nherself by going horseback riding on the beach. Whoa! I’m no ngynecologist, but horseback riding, especially naked horseback riding, nis the last activity I’d recommend to someone who has just participated nin a gangbang. In her defense, it was the early 1980s. What does that nmean? Well, most people back then lacked, what I like to call, “crotch ncognizance,” a state of mind where you are always aware of what your ngenitals, and, I guess, you could include your anus in this specific nmindset, are up to at any given moment.
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nTrees, flowers, synths, strappy heels, black stockings (worn with black pumps), and Muriel Montossé, that’s all I really need when it comes to cinema. And, as it turns out, Jess Franco’s Cecilia was able to provide all of them in equal measure; well, more black stockings would have nice, but I digress. Now, I don’t usually express the desire to go anywhere–you know as far as travelling the world goes. However, Sintra, Portugal is a little different in that regard, as it seemed to capture my imagination. Which is a rare occurrence. I mean, most films leave me feeling a sense of shame; like, why did I just watch that? But this film was like receiving a tonic, one that not only promoted the power of love, but seems to enrich the lives of everyone who happens to find themselves under its unsavoury spell.