Best and Worst Films of 2014

nI’ll start things off by pointing out that I haven’t seen many of the films considered the best of the year, amongnthem Gone Girl, The Skeleton Twins, Theory ofnEverything, The Two Faces of January, Still Alice and The ImitationnGame …youncould say I’ve skipped a lot of those Oscar chosen, Golden Globe winners…but anyways, no worries, I’ll be reviewing those during the coming monthnas well. So anyhow, recapping this year, I’d say it was a weird year forncommercial blockbusters, the summer –a time usually reserved for an onslaughtnof big budget spectacles- was a huge void, with very few blockbusters tontitillate. I guess they were saving all the good ones for 2015, which is poisednto be a juggernaut year at the box office! There were also a lot of bad films,nsome of which I’ve included in the ‘Worst of the Year’ segment of this article, this is something I’vendecided to add to my end of the year review thing. Past lists were comprised of only the best, but this year there were so many crappy movies, Incouldn’t help myself, so from now on, my end of the year review will alsoninclude the worst of the year! Hope you’ll find this list useful, this is the cream of the crop my friends, also, the worst of the worst, so you can choose wisely when the time comes to watch a good movie. Enjoy!

nOnly Lovers Left Alive

nComments: So yeah, Inknow this one was released theatrically on 2013, but it was released on dvd onn2014, so I count it among my favorite of 2014. I’m sure some of you out therenwill do the same. So anyhow, this is Jim Jarmusch’s latest and boy, it’snawesome that it’s a vampire flick. Of course, this being Jarmusch (the livingnembodiment of artsy/independent cinema) this is a vampire flick that breaksnwith all the parameters of a vampire film. It has a lot of what makes anJarmusch film great: great atmosphere, a slow yet interesting pace andncharacters I couldn’t stop watching. How cool are these vamps? They a culturedngroup, they hang out at rock and roll bars and eat blood popsicles, they likento spend their eternity reading good books and listening to music, and hangingnout with Shakespeare, who by the way is also a vampire!. If you’re in the moodnfor a slower paced film, with moody characters who love to sulk in theirnsadness and despair, then this is the movie for you. I loved the locations,nfirst the movie starts off in dilapidated real life Detroit Rock City, and thennit shifts to Tangiers, Morocco. The visuals and the vibe in both locationsnoffer distinctively different atmospheres and beautiful visuals. Anothernexistential film from the master of existential films, Jim Jarmusch.

nQuote: “I just feel like all the sand is at the bottom ofnthe hour glass or something”

n22 Jump Street

nComments: So yeah, I always like to include comedies in mynbest of lists because usually they get ignored or lost in the shuffle, same asnhorror movies do. So anyways, I’m including 22 Jump Street because it actuallynmade laugh. It’s stupid yes, it’s formulaic yet color me stupefied, I couldn’t stopnlaughing! One thing I enjoyed about the film is that it’s very self conscious, theynknow they are making a “cash in” sequel, so they reference the fact throughoutnthe dialog. I thought it was kind of hilarious that way, I mean, theynacknowledge the fact that they “got lucky with the first one” and so they arengiving us the same crap all over again, but with a bigger budget. Another thingnI dug about this movie is that the whole ending of the film was shot in PuertonRico on this beach I’ve gone to a million times, so it was also cool seeing mynown country on a film, But that aside, what matters at the end of the day isnthat this one made me laugh. The plot never mattered at all and they knew it.nWhat matters is the improvisational comedy that Jonah Hill and Channing Tatumnpull off on any given situation, which is surprisingly hilarious.

nQuote: “We Jump Street, and we about to Jump in Yo’ ass!”

nSnowpiercer

nComments: Now here’s a film that caught me completely bynsurprise. It came out of left field for me, but I rented it because I liked thenpremise which reminded me of Wong Kar Wai’s 2046 (2004) an erotic/romantic filmnwhich is also about a train that runs through the world. So anyhow, I ended upnliking Snowpiercer a lot because it’s a subversive film, and you guys know hownmuch I love Subversive Cinema! The thing with Snowpiercer is that the train andnits inhabitants are a representation of society and so, the people that live onnthe back of the train represent the poor, the working class, while the ones innthe front of the train are the privileged high class, the elite, those innpower. The train has its fair share of dictators, rebels and leaders goingnup against the evil oppressive government. I love the idea that these peoplenhave to live in the inside of this train because the outside world has frozen. Thenidea of having the rebels going up against the evil government to uncover “thentruth” about things is nothing new, in fact, we’re currently seeing annavalanche of these types of movies in theaters, the concept of a bullet trainnpiercing through the ice cold world is a novel one and offers some interestingnvisuals. I ended up loving the art design of this unique film.

nQuote: “A shoe doesn’t belong on your head; a shoe belongsnin your foot. A hat belongs in your head. I am a hat. You are a foot. Yes? Sonit is.”

n300: Rise of an Empire

nComments: Here’s a film I was ready to hate with every inchnof my body. Why? Because it reeked of unnecessary sequel, it looked likensomething they made simply to profit from the success of the original. To myncomplete an utter surprise, this movie rocked the house! I was floored by thenamazing visuals! The first 300 film was centered on visuals, it was a stylisticnpiece, same goes for this sequel, there’s a distinctive focus on the visuals.nSame as in a Frank Miller comic, we’re here to look at some cool art. And 300ncomes to life in this way. There’s tons of slow motion and incredible cameranangles. This film is a CGI orgasm, thankfully, they use CGI they way I like CGInto be used: artfully. Other great factors: it was neither a sequel, nor anprequel, it’s a film that happens at the same time as the first film, but in andifferent location, I thought that was a pretty novel idea. We get Xerxe’snorigin story and get Eva Green playing a hellish villain, something shenapparently excels at!

nQuote: “You fight much harder than you fuck!”

nThe Interview

nComments: The most hyped movie of 2014 had only one thing tonprove to me: was it all worth it? I mean, it’s not every day that a moviencauses terrorist threats! Here’s a movie that’s supposedly so offensive to thenNorth Korean government that they supposedly threatened to commit terroristnattacks upon any theater that dared to show it! Be that story true or not, whatnmattered to me was if it was funny or not, was it any good? Hell yes it was, Inlaughed every second of it. On top of things, the film delivers a message aboutnthe mediocrity of mass media, and the importance of using the media fornsomething worthwhile, like say, the truth. It has that Seth Rogen and crewnstyle of humor, so if you enjoyed say Pineapple Express (2008) or This is theEnd (2013) as much as I did, then you’re in for a treat.

nQuote: “You know what’s more destructive than nuclear bombs?nWords.”

nSin City: A Dame to Kill For

nComments: Here’s a movie that left cinemas extremely fast fornwhatever the reason. Maybe the filmmakers waited too long to make it? I mean,nhere’s a sequel that came out almost 10 years after its predecessor! It was anhuge bomb in theaters, but to that I say, “whatever!” This movie gave usneverything we loved from the first film, It gave us Marv again, the whole thingnis still told in loud, exaggerated comic book style, we still get thenvoiceovers, the black and white look, the little splashes of color here andnthere. And it even functions as something of a sequel, concluding one of thenstories from the first film. Bottom line is, while this new Sin City film is notnbetter than the first one, because let’s face it, the first film is a hard filmnto top, it does still give us everything we loved from the first time around.nThe same style, the same characters, the same tough as nails cops and evil asnhell villains; in this sequel, Sin City is still Sin City, and I loved thatnabout it.

nQuote: “An Atom Bomb goes off between my legs..”

nCaptain America 2: The Winter Soldier

nComments: Sometimes it feels like Marvel just keeps gettingnbetter and better at making comic book movies. I mean, they should, each movienkeeps getting bigger and bigger, with more buildings collapsing, more worlds innperil…things are getting epic with each passing film trying to top the levelsnof destruction achieved by the previous ones, and with budgets escalating withneach passing film, who knows what we’ll end up seeing next. So yeah, thisnsequel to Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) is bigger and badder innevery way possible. It has a distinctively subversive vibe to it, with CaptainnAmerica realizing that maybe working for the government isn’t the best idea. Onnthis one he decides to go solo, which is cool because it frees the character andnthe films from political propaganda, which was so present in the first film.nThe action is amazing, but also, this film includes one of the coolestncharacters to ever grace a comic book film: The Winter Soldier! Though JoenJohnston did a fine job with the first film, this one excels in many ways, it’snmore bombastic, the story is more epic and the American patriotism/propagandanmachine is turned off, which honestly is one of the things I didn’t like aboutnthe first one.

nQuote: “The truth isn’t all things to all people, all thentime”

nExodus: Gods and Kings

nComments: This onenwas special for me because it’s a film from one of the greatest directors ofnall time: Ridley Scott. Every film he makes is a gift, so of course I went tonsee this one. All I have to say is that if I was a Christian, I’d be supernstoked about this movie. But I’m not, and I still loved the hell out of thisnone, so take that for what it’s worth. The story of Moses, the ten commandmentsnand the parting of the Red Sea is about as epic as the bible gets, so of coursenI was excited to see how one of the greatest directors to walk the face of thenearth was going to bring these stories to life. And I wasn’t disappointed, thenmovie was epic, yet it was different to Cecil B. Demille’s The Ten Commandmentsn(1956), for example, Moses isn’t portrayed as a religious zealot, he’s more anrational man. Maybe he talks to god for real, or maybe it’s because henaccidentally hit his head? Maybe all the miracles are explained away by reason,nor maybe God’S making them happen? The movie is ambiguous like that and many Christiansnresent this version of The Ten Commandments because of that, but if you ask me,nExodus: Gods and Kings is no less spectacular a film because of this.

nQuote: “Follow me and you will be free, stay and you willnperish.”

nInterstellar

nComments: By now we are accustomed to a level of excellencenfrom Christopher Nolan, slowly but surely he’s shaping up to be quite thendirector, one of the greats. Interstellar is certainly a good one, thoughntruthfully, I don’t think Nolan has made a bad film yet. What’s awesome aboutnInterstellar is that it evokes so many movies that came before it, and not justnmovies but also books, to be more precise Arthur C. Clarke books like 2001: AnSpace Odyssey, Rendezvous with Rama and Hammer of God. It’s also very heavilyninfluenced by Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Any Kubrick fannshould instantly spot all the homage’s Nolan makes to what is obviously one ofnhis favorite directors. But aside from its influences, the film offers us thenexperience of what it might feel like to see a black hole up close andnpersonal, in the most scientifically accurate way possible, which is an awesomenexperience, nothing remotely cheesy or silly like what you might find innDisney’s The Black Hole (1979), yet every bit as trippy. The cool thing aboutnmovies about Black Holes is that whenever we go into the Black Hole it’s goingnto be something trippy every time, no matter what the film, once in the blacknhole anything’s possible. Interstellar is no exception, it might get a bitnincomprehensible at times, but there’s no denying the visual spectacle isnthere, and at heart, it’s also a family film, with heavy emphasis on love.

nQuote: “Rage, rage against the dying of the light”

nGuardians of the Galaxy

nComments: This was the surprise hit of the year, nobody (notneven Disney) expected this to be as big a hit as it turned out to be and it cannall be attributed to James Gunn, the director behind this superhero/sci-fi/comedy/nmash up. The thing about James Gunn is that same as Josh Weddon, the directornbehind The Avengers (2012) franchise, Gunn is a true geek. He’s always lovednsci-fi and horror, if not check out his totally underrated Slither (2006),a film about alien slugs that grow inside ofnyou and turn you into a zombie. He’s also mixed the comic book genre withncomedy before in Super (2010). So in many ways, Gunn was the perfect guy tondirect Guardians of the Galaxy. Why did it work so well? To start things off,nthese characters had not been seen before, I mean, sure there have beennGuardians of the Galaxy comics, but never on film. And even the comics werennever that popular. So the characters have a much needed freshness to them.nAlso, apparently people don’t want the popular, squeaky clean heroes we all know;nthey want the misfits, the imperfect heroes, the heroes with a freaking sensenof humor. Also, the comedy is welcome, Guardians of the Galaxy feels like angood bye to the dark and brooding superhero films like The Dark Knight (2008),nand a hello, to a more light hearted, fun, comic book film, which to be honest,nI was missing.

nQuote: “What should we do next? Something good? Somethingnbad? Little bit of both?”

nGrand Budapest Hotel

nComments: Wes Anderson’s films are a universe ontonthemselves, so every time you see an Anderson film, you know you’re seeing annAnderson film. They have that look, that framing, that music, that dialog,nthose colors, those actors, simply put, Anderson has his very own unique style.nThis time around we go even deeper into Anderson’s own world through The GrandnBudapest Hotel, a gigantic hotel that exists in the fictional ‘Republic ofnZubrowka’. The story focuses on a concierge and the things he does to makeneverybody happy, especially the ladies, even the older ones. On top of things,nthe film has a pacifist message; the story unfolds during the overtaking of anNazi like government, which affects the lives of all the characters in thenfilm. Grand Budapest Hotel is a delight to look at, the aesthetic of it isnsimply beautiful. Behind it all is a story of true love and true friendship,nlooking forward to seeing it again.

nQuote: “A lobby boy is above all discreet to a fault. Ournguests know that their deepest secrets, some of which are frankly rathernunseemly, will go with us to our graves. So keep your mouth shut zero.”

nUnder the Skin

nComments: This one was a complete surprise to me. I’d heardnit was sort of a sci-fi, but I wasn’t ready for such a different kind of sci-fi,nnot in your face, but instead very subtle. nThe film is all about a female alien who seduces men in order to feed onnthem. She’s sort of like a vampire, which is why it made me think that Undernthe Skin is actually an artsy fartsy version of Tobe Hooper’s Lifeforce (1985),nit even copies the idea of having the female vampire/alien naked throughout anhuge chunk of the film. If you remember correctly, in Lifeforce a human ends upnobsessed with the female alien, attracted by her magnetic, hypnotic beauty. Basicallynthe same thing happens in Under the Skin. What I did get from Under the Skinnthat I didn’t get from Lifeforce was an exploration of human sensuality, how wenare blinded by the prospect of having sex, so much so that we’ll sink into thenblackest tar pits to get it. We are blinded by it. Because the main characternis sort of like a voyeur, observing humanity with an objective point of view,nmany aspects of human behavior are explored, including violence, rape andncompassion. Topple all of that with amazing visuals and atmosphere and a twistnending and you got yourselves one of the best sci-fi films of the year. Thenfilm does have a slow pace, which is not for everyone because truth be told,nhalf of you will love this film while the other half will hate it. Me? I lovednevery second of it, it just got better and better the further I went. On top ofnthings, it’s filled with these amazing trippy visuals and shot in a realisticndocumentary style. It’s just a very artful film, which is why it gets on my bestnof 2014 list. It’s just a beautiful film to look at and absorb.

nQuote: “People wind me up, they are ignorant”

nNightcrawler

nComments: Nightcrawler is a movie of its time; it marks thengeneral mentality that people are living under right now. Sort of like how TheGraduate (1967) marked the 60’s, Wall Street (1987) the 80’s and Fight Clubn(1999) the 90’s. Its main character, Louis Bloom, is a desperate man, on thenbrink of poverty, willing to do anything he can do to survive. Hunger drivesnhim, the desire for success is his fuel and he will stop at nothing to live anbetter life, to mingle with the big guys, to prove his worth. It’s a sadnreflection of society, because while it is true that Louis Bloom is annexaggeration, a sort of cartoon of the crazy dog eat dog world we live in, wencannot deny that this character is a truthful mirror to the kind of humannbeings society is breeding. And this is the reason why I loved the film, butnalso because it comments on media manipulation. In some ways it’s similar tonSidney Lumet’s Network (1976) when it shows how the media makes us see thingsnin a certain way, under a certain light. The film offers us a powerful performance from Gyllenhal, he wasnalready nominated for a Golden Globe, but lost to Eddie Redmayne for Theory ofnEverything. Sadly, Gyllenhall was ignored by the Academy Awards, could it benbecause the film attacks the media? Well, at least it got a nod for bestnscreenplay.

nQuote: “Who am I? I’m a hard worker. I set high goals andnI’ve been told that I’m persistent”

nBirdman

nComments: This is one of those movies that is a film aboutnfilms, it speaks about the frustrations of an aging actor looking for a way tonget back into the spotlight, to get the respect and admiration he once had fromnthe public. He does this by directing and starring in a play that he hopes willnbecome a hit. The film analyzes what cinema is today, and goes all around whatnit means when they say that Hollywood takes you in, chews you and then spitsnyou out. What do audiences like to watch nowadays? Do they like philosophicalncinema? Or do they enjoy empty effects spectacles? It was interesting seeing a film thatnaddresses society’s current obsession with superhero movies. It’s also about anman battling old age, he’s trying to prove he’s not passé, he wants to prove henstill has some worth in this world! One of the more interesting aspects of thenfilm, apart from the awesome themes it touches upon is how it was made. Thisnfilm was shot with long takes, and it aims to give us the illusion that it wasnshot in one continuous long shot, the result is nothing short of amazing, withnthe camera in constant movement always following somebody around. Same asnLinklater’s Boyhood (yet another Oscar contender this year) Birdman will morenthan likely be recognized for its technical achievements, for its direction andnfor Michael Keaton’s awesome performance. n

nQuote: “And let’s face it Dad, it’s not for the sake of art;nit’s because you want to feel relevant again”

nBoyhood

nComments: Boyhood is quite possibly the most amazing comingnof age story ever made. Why? Because through this film we can actually watchnthe protagonists grow before our very eyes and not by using different actors tonplay the same character in different stages of their lives, but by taking 12nyears to make the film! So we see Mason, the films main character go from beingna child, to being a college student, all during the course of one film. Thenfilm is a life journey of a family. Younsee, Boyhood is essentially a family drama about a single mother looking fornthe best that she can for her and her children and how the whole family adaptsnto the different changes in life, the cool part is seeing the actors changenthrough the years, they change hairstyles, music they listen to, stature. Inlove this kind of film because it’s ancautionary tale, a coming of age story, it’s the kind of film I would show mynpreteen son or daughter so they understand the different phases that one goesnthrough in life, the kind of things that should be taken in considerationnbefore making life changing decisions. In accordance with Richard Linklater’snstyle of filmmaking, Boyhood is essentially one long philosophicalnconversation, exploring life, feelings and situations. It’s an amazingnaccomplishment for Linklater, a stroke of genius that could quite possibly winnhim the “Best Director” award at the Oscars this year.

nQuote: “Any dipshit can take pictures Mason. Art? That’s special. What can you bring to it that nobody else can?”
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nWhiplash
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nComments: This movie is amazing in many ways, but one of them is that you don’t know how anything is going to turn out, you wont know where this film is going, and that my friends is a good thing in my book. Another thing it has going for it is that it’s a film about a music student and his crazy ass gung ho teacher and his extreme teaching methods. You see 19 year old Andrew wants to be one of the greatest drummers whoever lived, and his willing to take the physical and psychological punishment he has to in order to be among the best. Does his teacher go over the line with his teaching methods? Should Andrew blow the whistle on this hot head, loud mouthed teacher? Or will all this preassure bring out the best in Andrew? You won’t know if you should hate Mr. Fletcher, or admire him. Though it’s J.K. Simmons that has gotten all the Oscar buzz, I also have to mention that Miles Teller’s performance as Andrew is equally amazing. Simmons has been nominated for Actor of the Year at this years Oscars, and I think he actually has a shot at winning. He does have tough competition (Michael Keaton is ready for that Oscar) but without a doubt, Simmons is one heavy contender! Highly recommend this inspiring film, just forget everything you have seen in films like Mr. Hollands Opus (1995) and Dangerous Minds (1995)!
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nQuote: “There are no two words in the English language more harmful than ‘Good Job'”

nWorst of 2014

nHaven’t seen Annie, Left Behind, God is Dead, Heaven is fornReal, but if I had, trust me, they’d all be on this list! Here’s a list of somenof the worst films of the year for me. All of these where simply put, a torturento look at.

nTransformers: Age of Extinction

nComments: Speaking of torture, here’s a film that I gave thenbenefit of the doubt. I didn’t think it would be as bad as people were sayingnit was, cause, shoot me, I kind of enjoyed the third one. So anyhow, things started out well, but the further intonthe movie I went, the worst it got. By the time the film goes to China in it’snthird hour of running time, I was like “Why?” I just didn’t care for anythingnthat was happening. Though the film does have its show stopping moments, likenthe scene where an alien spaceship pulls every metal object up in the air withnits magnetism, most of the film felt like it didn’t really matter. I tried tonlike it, but it was too silly, too long and too unimportant, I blame thensoulless computer generated characters. The transformers just aren’t wellnwritten characters, we never get to ‘know’ them, and therefore we never care.nWe’ve all seen movies that have brought computer generated characters to lifenthrough excellent characterization, excellent motion capture performances andnvoice acting, but these cardboard cut outs just aren’t it. Here’s a film Inactually saw people walking out from!

nQuote: “I am Optimus Prime and this message is to myncreators: leave planet earth alone! ‘Cause I’m coming for you!”

nExpendables 3

nComments: Wasn’t expecting to put Expendables 3 on my ‘worstnof the year’ because I enjoyed the first two, but damn, here we are. Why wasnExpendables 3 such a disaster? Well, they did many things wrong to screw thisnone up, let’s see. First up, the reason why we are here is to see our favoriten80’s and 90’s action stars kick ass and say a few one liners while doing it,nlike in the good old days. Instead, we see the old guns for a while, but thennthey are replaced for most of the films running time with a new crew of kidsnwhom we care nothing for, cause we came to see the old guys, not these new guysnwhom we don’t know. So that’s the first mistake, then they go and make it anPG-13 bloodless film, which is an even bigger mistake because what we came tonsee was a homage to old school bloody action films like the kind they made innthe 80’s, not the bloodless cgi crap we see nowadays. And speaking of CGI, godnthey over did it here and this is certainly not what we came to see. We want tonsee real cars and helicopters blowing up, not Playstation grade animatednversions of them. Plus, the screenplay was just freaking atrocious! It was sad tonsee so many big guns like Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Jet Li and Arnold Schwarzeneggernsink so low, these guys deserved way better than this. Bruce Willis did right in backing out of this one, smart movenWillis! Even though it was greed that made you step down from appearing on thisnone, you avoided a huge turd! Yipee- Kiyay in deed!

nQuote: “Nothing lasts forever. We’re part of the past. If wenkeep this up, the only way this ends up for any of us is a whole in the groundnand no one will give a shit.”

nRobocop

nComments: I’m a robo nut, I’ve loved Robocop ever sense henstomped his way into theaters way back in 1987, when action films still hadnsome balls. What made the old Robocop so cool was Paul Verhoeven’s love ofnblood and violence and its tendency to go complete over the top, which is whynthis new politically correct Robocop doesn’t work. It plays it safe, it’s toonsqueaky clean. This movie needed to be rated ‘R’, it needed the profanity, thennudity, the violence, the gore, the violence and the blood and guts that makesnthe original film so memorable. If you want to read an in depth article that lists the reasons why this new Robocop just didn’t work, go here. But basically, this new Robocop had none of what we liked about the old Robocop, it didn’tnhave the over the top villains, the craziness, the goddamn over the topness! JoelnKinnaman as Robocop, terrible choice, that black suit, awful. Robocop, withoutnthe mas just looks goofy, they should’ve just called it Goofy Cop. Itnfrustrates me. But, the fans retaliated with a dismal box office return. Why?nBecause this wasn’t the Robocop we love, it wasn’t the Robocop we wanted. Wenwant that 80’ Robocop magic back! Somebody call Verhoeven!

nQuote: “This my friends, is the future of American Justice!”

nTranscendence

nComments: If there’s something I hate, it’s a wastednopportunity. When films that have the potential for something awesome, turn outnto be crap, it infuriates me. Case in point: Transcendence, a film I had highnhopes for, yet ended up being really disappointed by. Why? Well, because it wasna bore fest. I mean, here’s a movie dealing with artificial intelligence andncyber punk elements. This is the story of an extremely intelligent scientistnwho ends up transferring his consciousness to a computer, yet somehow the filmnmanaged to bore me to tears! Too bad, because while I dig films that explorenphilosophical issues and this one does that, it did so in the leastnentertaining way, which is a big no, no for me when it comes to movies. I guessnI’ll have to wait another decade for a decent cyberpunk film.

nQuote: “Once online, a sentient machine will quicklynovercome the limits of biology. And in a short time, its analytic power willnbecome greater than the collective intelligence of every person born in thenhistory of the world ”

nI, Frankenstein

nComments: Wow, where to begin, this film is an abominationnfor many reasons. Number one is that I really hate Hollywood’s new trend ofnmaking classical monsters less monstrous? They did it in Dracula Untold (2014),nthe Twilight Saga and Warm Bodies (2013) and they will apparently keep doingnthis. I guess somebody decided having monstrous monsters was a bad thing fornour collective psyche, so now monsters are to be softened up or something? Fucknthat bullshit, I want my monsters ugly, deformed and freaking monstrous. Thenmore evil looking the better! I don’t want them to look like Aaron Eckhart ornLuke Evans. Man, Frankenstein is supposed to be made of dead body parts fornChrist’s sake! For all intents and purposes, Frankenstein is a zombie! Yet henlooks like Aaron Eckhart scratched his face in a cat fight! On top of that, thencomputer generated effects on this thing were atrocious! I mean, the wholenthing looked like a videogame, which made me role my eyes in disappointment.nSo, ugh. Don’t even bother with this one, I disconnected from it faster thannyou can say “It’s alive!”

nQuote: “I’m a dozen different parts of eight differentncorpses. I’m a monster.” (Yeah Right)

nThe Legend of Hercules

nComments: So yeah, this is another one that I decided I’dngive the benefit of the doubt to because it’s Hercules and I love films aboutnGreek mythology, I love fantasy. Unfortunately, I couldn’t connect with thisnone either. First red flag that popped up was the fact that this one was madenin a hurry, to compete with Brett Ratner’s Hercules (2014), which by the way Indug a lot. So anyhow, this version is another CGI fest, and the thing about CGInis that if it’s not done convincingly, well, then it just looks bad. And that’snwhat this film suffered the most for. As you can see, a lot of the films thatnmade it onto my worst of the years suffer from the same ailment: they arenfilled with terrible cgi and bad scripts, a deadly combination. Another stumbling block with this movie isnthat it stole a lot of scenes from Ratner’s film and from the God of War seriesnof video games. Why didn’t they just make a God of War film instead? It’s so sad to see Renny Harlin, who directedna series of cool action flicks like Cliffhanger (1993), Die Hard 2 (1990) andnThe Long Kiss Goodnight (1996), sink so low. Lately he just directs crap, pure unadulterated crap, sonsad.

nWell, that’s it boys and girls, see you again next year!