1988 teen drama Rating: 12/20
Plot: Veronica oozes her way into a clique of the titular Heathers, the in-crowd at her high school. A new boy with a trench coat catches her eye and is more interested in killing everybody. This might be the most realistic portrayal of high school ever. This also gets bonus points for the line “I don’t patronize bunny rabbits” and for having the first on-screen fist bump.
And for having Winona Ryder. I have mixed feelings about this one because I liked it when it came out but now think it’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. When a line about “coughing up a phlegm globber” sounds Shakespearean compared to the rest of the script, you know things are bad. I’m really not sure how anybody could have read this script and wanted to be in the movie. Still, this has a redeeming quirkiness and enough darkly comic bits to make it worth the time.
And I could be completely wrong about the dialogue. It’s entirely possible that it’s a work of genius. Regardless, Christian Slater’s Jack Nicholson impression gets on my nerves. Or who knows? Maybe that’s a work of genius, too. The satire in this is pessimistic and biting, not always in the best of ways, and the narrative, though not believable in the slightest, at least doesn’t make you feel cheated. Things do really fall apart by the end, though. This might sound dark, but Christian Slater would have been better off overdosing after completing this movie. He would have been a legend.
