June 12 - Crowded Nest Syndrome Awareness Day

nPosted on June 12, 2019

Key Points

nI’ve never heard of this day – nor of the so-called Crowded Nest Syndrome. I was curious –

nAnd when I discovered what it was, I totally got it, but I was also a bit disturbed by some stuff I was reading…

n“Crowded Nest Syndrome” is supposed to be what happens when all the children in a family grow up and move out – and then the parents get “Empty Nest Syndrome,” a feeling of loss, of missing the hustle-bustle of their family living at home…

BUT then the now-adult kids move back.

nBoom! Crowded Nest Syndrome.

nSometimes adult kids move back with partners in tow. Husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, or some other mate/partner.

nSometimes adult kids move back with kids of their own.

nOr maybe it’s not adult kids moving back home. Maybe it’s the parents’ parents who need care and move into the home. Or maybe other relatives have to move in.

nOr maybe it’s all of the above!

nWhatever the case, Crowded Nest Syndrome is a feeling that can occur when people were just getting used to the peace and quiet of the relatively empty home, and really starting to love the new pace of life – perhaps even rediscovering hobbies that had fallen by the wayside during the hustle-bustle years – and then, POOF! the peace is broken, the quiet is gone, and suddenly the home feels too crowded.

It used to be so roomy, when the kids were
little. (LOL) It used to be so quiet, when the
kids were still eggs. (ROTFL)

nI get it. Each of my adult kids have had to move home at least for short periods, between jobs or moves. My mom could no longer manage alone and needed care. I know what it’s like to feel a little freer, a little less needed – and then suddenly life throws a curve and ties you down again.

nBut the extent of the bitterness expressed in some articles I consulted – while it may be exaggerated in an effort at humor – seemed pretty non-funny. It seemed…a little entitled, a little selfish, a little spoiled. We all should remember that people don’t always get the same sort of chance to get a good job, with benefits, or to buy their own home. We should all remember that we were once young and dependent and may well live to be old and dependent. We should remember that many of us live with MUCH bigger homes, much more personal space, and many more resources at our disposal than 90% of the world’s population.

We should remember that is actually quite normal for multiple generations of family to live together, when you look around the world and all through history.

nWe should remember that multi-generational homes is normal here and now, too.

nWe should remember that we lucky ones don’t know what “crowded” really means:

The U.S. government took American citizens’ homes
away (citizens of Japanese descent) during World War II
and forced them to live in very crowded internment
camps.