When two people are in a relationship, especially if it is a long-standing relationship, apart from loving each other and having several affinities in common, it is generally expected that the two will share or think about sharing projects and a future together, something which requires quite the maturity of each of them.
However, when one of the parties does not act exactly as an adult, it may hamper the progress and the future of the relationship. For example, imagine a mature, college-educated woman who is working, dreams of having a home and car of her own, and who wants to start a family, dating a guy who does not care much for tomorrow and has not got any plan for the future.
The problem is that when people are in love, it can be a bit harder to realize their partner’s failures and to identify if the loved one is really a man or just a kid who does not want much commitment in life. So to help lighten up the ideas a bit, here’s a list of the 10 signs you’re dating a kid, not a man:
1. He has no ambition
If your boyfriend is young, it is normal that from time to time he looks as if he is fed up with school or work, but if he does not have a plan for the future or at least an idea of what to do with his life, it a sign that he has not yet matured.
Do not misunderstand, not everyone will have the opportunity to create the future or develop a vocation with a college degree, but there comes a time in life when you simply cannot just sit on the couch of your mother’s house – or your girlfriend – playing video games while time passes by.
If your boyfriend is really worried about the future, he will have some kind of planning about what to do in the future, some profession he would like to pursue, or a career that even if it does not require a degree, can guarantee livelihood and independence.
2. You look like his mother
In a relationship, it is normal that from time to time one needs the help of the other to handle a situation or perform some type of task. The problem is when you have to say exactly what he needs to do as if you were his mother!
Watch for signs! If it’s you who wakes him up in the morning so he will not be late for some important appointment or who stays on top of him so the boy does not forget to do and deliver a college job. Then you’re dealing with a son more than with a boyfriend.
3. Does not care about sexual protection or pressure you for sex
A mature man who knows that it is not the time to have sex or children will certainly do his part in protecting you when you have sex and you will always have a condom to use in intimate times with you. Already a kid will not care much for this and will think that it is the girlfriend who needs to take care and take the contraceptive pill.
If you’ve had to warn your partner about condom use and have heard him say sometimes that if you take the pill, that’s OK, then you’re dealing with an irresponsible kid instead of a responsible man.
4. He is too jealous
While boys tend to be insecure and may assume that any guy who comes to you, or talks to you, has an ulterior motives, this is a threat to the relationship, a man is more confident and will probably believe and trust you.
Of course, feeling jealous once in a while is normal – after all, we are all human beings – but maturity shows itself in the way a person acts in relation to that feeling. If the guy is a kid, he will certainly be stressed and possessive, wanting to stop you from talking to some other guy.
On the other hand, a man will know how to talk to you, admitting that he really felt jealous, but in a matured way to solve the problem.
5. He is a mess
It is certain that the house of men who live alone is not always clean and tidy, but a little organization does not hurt anyone, does it? Your boyfriend’s house does not have to be spotless, but if you come in there and you find clothes on the couch and on the floor of the room, a pile of dishes to wash, pizza boxes and food containers are thrown in corners, in addition, the place seems not to receive a good cleaning for months, this is a sign that he may still be living in the world of university republics.
It’s even worse if you do the housekeeping every time you go there. One must admit that there comes a time when we all mature and simply cannot live in the midst of the mess. If he does not have the time to clean the house, he can at least hire a cleaning lady to do the job.
6. He is always in debt
When someone gets the first paycheck from the first job of their life, they may end up getting too excited and spending more than they should on the paycheck. The problem is when this habit repeats itself constantly.
One of the signs of a man’s maturity – or anyone else’s – is his ability to control finances. This means knowing how much you earn in the month, how much you can spend and how much you save to achieve your future projects. If your boyfriend receives his salary and the next week he has already toyed with all the money – even if he is partly buying gifts to please you – this may be a hint of impulsivity, and he is not thinking too much in to the future.
7. He can’t keep a job for long.
Let’s face it, once or twice in life, most of us have been or will still be fired or will quit a job. It’s even normal, there are cases where we do not fit into a company’s work style or find that job is not exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives.
The dangerous thing is when the person cannot stay at one job and lives changing profession. If this is the case with your boyfriend, this indicates that he still does not know what he wants to do with life, which can hinder the planning of a more solid future together.
Of course, you can try to help him by giving advice and suggesting that he talk to a vocational counselor. However, if he cannot break this cycle at all, it is a case of thinking if this instability is not the result of immaturity.
8. During a fight, he insults you
It is practically impossible to find a couple who have never fought. After all, they are two different people together, so at one point or another a disagreement will arise and this can result in a more serious discussion. However, although a fight is unpleasant, it is an excellent opportunity to analyze how people act in more tense situations.
If when you fight, instead of sticking to the argument that caused the disagreement, your boyfriend usually appeals and does present arguments which seem not to support your point of view, raining personal insults on you, even if they have nothing to do with what is at hand there’s a good chance he’s still a kid.
This is because he does not admit to being wrong and wants to win the argument at any cost, even if it means hurting the feelings of the woman he says he loves. A man knows how to recognize when he is wrong and when it is time to end a discussion that will lead nowhere, even if he is right. He will prefer to leave the conversation for later date
9. He makes tantrums
Do you want something more childlike than tantrums when you cannot get what you want? Well, it may be that your boyfriend does not shout like a child, but if at the moment things do not go the way of him, he acts like a little boy squeezing his face, complaining all the time and insisting that you do his desire, this is also a form of a tantrum.
10. He flirts with other women
When a man is with a woman, he feels happy next to her and wants to keep her close to him for a long time, what reason would he have to go out there and flirt with other women? An immature and insecure youngster may entertain that attraction and the attention of other girls, even if he does not intend to relate to them, to him is a way of positioning himself as a man and showing that he is desired. In addition to this being a super childish attitude, the guy who does this disrespects his girlfriend and the other women.
